I really hope this makes sense as it's sort of based on a story I was planning once. I'd like to know how it sounds to people who don't know the story.



I haven't done poetry in a long long time but please point out anything that could be improved.







.....







Flames lick stone,

Stone falls, devouring flame.

Standing there – just there, by the window – you watch.



You can’t believe what you’ve done;

A thousand sins in one night,

But they told you what to do

And you listened.



La Révolution.

Just another word for the destruction,

The flames, the shots that ring into the night,

Never stopping.



And you thought you should be part of it,

That you owed them something.

You never realised the truth until the end.



So easy to kill a stranger, it seemed,

Until you know how similar you both are,

And it’s too late now that she’s gone.



So you stand by the window,

Drown in your own sorrows,

Wonder whether God would forgive you,

While smoke rises from velvet beneath your feet.