Icaruss
Disgustingly Honest.
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Country: Peru.
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 Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:59 am Post subject: Got A Great Idea Today! |
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So. I'm sitting in my computer, and was having the urge to write a Western. I just didn't know what it would be about. So, I got a little bit inspired and wrote the following lines:
"The dust spirals upwards. Birds chirp. The trees around them are rocked softly by the cool western wind. Flies buzz in circles around their faces. Some of them land themselves on their sweaty skin. The sun is setting. Their eyes are locked.
The gunmen draw. And one is faster than the other."
And it sounded cool. But now I faced the following problems: Who were the gunmen? Why would they want to kill each other? Where are they? This is what I came up with--
Brothers! They're brothers. They were together forever. One of them becomes a hardcore bandit, gets married, while the other one follows him around some of the time, but is generally aimless. Then the Civil War happens. The bandit brother takes this as a chance of chaos, you know, take whatever you can. The other one joins the army. They're separated. Have adventures. Then the army one deserts the South, and goes to join his brother's gun. He feels out of place. His brother is a real scumbag, but loves his wife very much. Stuff happens. They end up in jail.
They spend a few years inside. His brother befriends a couple of guys, and plan an escape plan. The army guy thinks it won't work. He tells his brother that he'll get killed. His brother doesn't listen-- his wife is dying, he needs to see her. The army brother decides he's not going to stand and watch his brother get killed. He tips off the prison director. About the escape plan, about liquor smuggling by his brother's friends. Everything. In two weeks, they let him out of the prison. His brother stays, wounded because of his failed escape plan.
Some years later. The bandit brother returns to the town his brother is at with the intention of killing him.
Is that good or what?! I mean, come on! It's like The Good The Bad and The Ugly meets Once Upon A Time In America. |
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He said, "My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?"
I said, "My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot,
Anita Ekberg, Sophia Loren."
(the country'll grow) |
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kitty15
Your friendly neighbourhood kitten
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| Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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| I like the plot ideas but I don't think the paragraph you've written so far is all that great. I's rather cliche and the description could be stronger. Go with the whole civil war idea though. That would make a great story. Hmmm. Maybe best friends rather than brothers though? |
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Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
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