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Element- Prolouge
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by sasquash in Fantasy Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on June 1, 2007
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A New Fan Fiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 33)
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Outpost 101 - Chapter 1
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Outpost 101 - Chapter 6
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A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 4)
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 4:50 pm    Post subject: A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 4) Reply with quote

(Wow, this turned out to be even better than the fight with Ifrit! If you read this can you PLEASE say something about it? It'd be nice to get critics about my work every now and then. I want to know I'm doing something right! I go over every chapter after I post it to check for obvious typos and grammer splats. Does that even make sense, grammer splats? Oh well, you know what I mean.)

The boat smashed through the stonewall that outlines the harbour. It sped towards the shore and docked at the beach. Tylor jumped off the turret platform before the others got out of the boat.

Once everyone was out Quistis ordered, “OK, you are to secure the Central Square! Make sure you’re properly equipped before heading into battle!”

Seifer said, “Let’s head out.” and ran ahead of the group.

Squad A was waiting at the stairs where the beach meets the city. Seifer was first to go up the stairs. Tylor knew they would meet enemies once they got up and he wanted to be the first to take them out. He jumped, balanced himself on the stairs’ railing and leaped up to the road. Seifer shouted something when he saw Tylor run ahead but he didn’t listen.

The road split off in two directions. The path to the right is blocked with a flaming car. The path in front turned from asphalt to stone as it led under an archway between two buildings. This path leads to the Central Square.

Two Galbian soldiers emerged from the archway path. They are clad in armour and blue leather material to fill in the places without armour. They wore helmets that hid their eyes. Each of them holds a sword in their hands. They immediately attacked once they saw Tylor.

Tylor swiftly ran up to the first soldier. The enemy brought his sword down on his body. In one swift motion Tylor knocked the weapon out of his hand and brought his foot into his face with a devastating roundhouse kick. He brought out his sword Apocalypse and faced the other soldier, who had already begun to attack. Tylor smacked the enemy’s sword with his own causing him to lose balance in his stance. With his free hand he grabbed the enemy by the back and threw him, head first into a nearby wall. Starting today Tylor had a new policy. Fighting mindless monsters is one thing but these are human beings. He would not kill another human unless he has absolutely no other choice.

Tylor looked back to the rest of his squad who had just caught up to him. “Come on! There are more enemies ahead.” He took the lead and ran down the stone path to the Central Square, keeping his eyes open for the next set of enemies.

The street is narrow with shops on both sides. A few cars are seen still parked on the road as they run by. They approached a bar that is connected to another building across the street by a bridge. Two soldiers would jump down from that bridge to attack them.

Tylor readied himself and warned the others. “On the bridge!” Two more Galbian soldiers appeared as soon as he shouted. They jumped off the bridge and began their attack.

Seifer ran past Tylor to the soldier on the left. Tylor fought the one on the right. Seifer blocked two attacks from the enemy’s sword before launching a devastating counter attack that ripped his chest wide open. Tylor began his battle by blocking one of his enemy’s attacks. As soon as the swords made contact he pushed the enemy’s sword out of the way with his own. He then grabbed the soldier’s arm, pulled it over his shoulder and threw him into the windshield of a nearby car.

Seifer turned to Tylor and asked, “Getting tired yet, new boy?”

Tylor looked back at him. “Hell, I’m just getting started. Can’t let you have all the fun can I?”

Seifer smiled and ran off. Tylor followed after him, followed closely by Squall and Zell. By Tylor’s calculations they were only a few blocks away from the Central Square. Seifer stopped and turned to the others. “The Central Square is up ahead.” He yelled out into the distance, “Hey! All you Galbian cowards out there! Come out’n show your faces! Don’t leave me hangin’ now!” He ran off toward the Central Square.

When he was out of earshot Zell said, “…What an idiot.”

The Central Square is a round plaza that connects to three different streets. The first is the one they just came from and the second leads to the city’s exit and is blocked by a few totalled cars. The third leads to the mountainous region mentioned in the mission briefing. A large fountain takes up the centre of the plaza.

Tylor remembered there being a soldier hiding behind the fountain. He alerted the others. “Behind the fountain!” Sure enough, a Galbian soldier came out and attacked.

Zel stepped up. “Leave this one to me!” The enemy attacked with a downward slash. Zell sidestepped and evaded the attack. Before the enemy had a chance to recover Zell kneed him in the ribs and cracked him in the head with a one-two punch. He finished off the attack with a roundhouse kick that knocked the soldier into the fountain.

Squall warned them, “There may be more…”

“All right,” Seifer ordered, “I want you guys to scout the area for enemies.”

“Follow me.” Tylor said. He led Squall and Zell to the second street with the totalled cars. He remembered that one more soldier was hiding there. When they approached the cars a Galbian soldier jumped out from the wreckage.

Squall readied his gunblade. “I’ll handle this.” He charged up to the soldier and launched a downward vertical slash. The enemy blocked it but the force of the attack sent him stumbling. Squall took the open shot and delivered a killing strike to the soldier’s torso. He falls to the ground and lays there, motionless.

Tylor sighed with relief as he put away his sword. “That’s all of them.” He turned and made his way back to the plaza.

Squall stopped him. “Tylor.”

He looked over his shoulder at Squall. “Yeah?”

Squall wore a very suspicious look on his face. “How could you have known where every soldier was hiding before we were attacked?”

Tylor stayed silent for a few moments. How is he going to explain to Squall in a way that doesn’t blow his cover? The answer is, he does not! “I’ll tell you once we’re out of this. The exam is far from over.” Squall wasn’t satisfied with his answer but didn’t say anything else.

As they made they’re way back Seifer told them, “Well then, we’re on standby ‘til the enemy comes.” He leaned against the side of a nearby building and sighed. “Standby… How boring…”

The small rumble of gunshots and explosions slowly grew louder in the distance. The battle between the Galbian Army and the remaining Dollet troops had begun.

“Sounds like it’s starting.” Squall states.

Seifer looks off into the distance and says, “Bring it on.” He runs to the other side of the fountain and shouts, “Hey! Galbian Soldiers! What are you waiting for!? Come show me what you got!” Even with his dislike towards Seifer Tylor did admire his fighting spirit.

They waited for what seemed like hours for the enemy to arrive. The continuing sounds of battle in the distance is the only thing keeping them company. Both Squall and Seifer leaned on different spots on a nearby wall. Zell paced back and forth for what felt like the thousandth time now. Tylor sat on the edge of the fountain with Armageddon in his lap, he quietly scratch knicks from his blade here and there with a small rock.

Squall whispers to himself, “…Nothing.”

Zell finally stopped pacing and yells out, “THE HELL!? Man… Now this is what I call boring. This ain’t right, man!”

Tylor says, without taking his eyes off his sword, “Calm down, Zell. We’ll have our chance to fight again soon. We just have to wait for now.”

“Yeah, I know, but…” Zell sighed wearily and went back to pacing.

Tylor thinks to himself, Seifer should start yelling right about now.

As if on cue Seifer asks, “Still keeping us waiting…?” He starts to yell and waves his gunblade around in fury. “That’s it…! I can’t take it anymore! What is this, some kind of dog training!?”

Tylor hears footsteps in the distance. Galbian soldiers are approaching. Tylor dropped to the ground to stay out of sight. “Hide!”

Zell kneels down beside Tylor and Squall hide behind a nearby statue with Seifer. Fifteen Galbian soldiers came down the street with the totalled cars and passed through the Central Square on they’re way to what Tylor assumed to be the radio tower.

Once they were gone Squall says, “It’s the enemy…”

Zell got back to his feet. “Where the hell they goin’?”

Tylor got off the ground and brushed himself off. He points to a large structure situated at the top of a nearby mountain. The mountain is high enough to be seen over all the houses. “That’s where they’re going, Zell.”

“Huh? What is that up there?”

Tylor explains, “It’s an old radio transmission tower that was used to broadcast signals over wide areas without having to do it manually with mile long wires and cables.”

Squall turns to Tylor and asks, “How do you know all this?”

“I used to live around here, remember? Dollet city is only a short train ride away from Galbia Garden.”

Seifer points to the tower with his gunblade. “Whatever it is, it’s out next destination.”

Zell runs up to him and protests, “But that’s against orders!”

Seifer asks, “Weren’t you just saying how bored you were?”

Zell turns to Tylor. “Tylor!” He stays silent as he secures Armageddon onto his back for easy travel. Zell turns to Squall next. “Squall!”

Squall sighs and says, “I stand by the captain’s decision.”

Seifer turns to face Squall, the flicker of curiosity playing in his eyes. “…Captain’s decision?” He walks up to Squall and shakes his arm. “You want to wreak some havoc to, don’t ya?”

Squall slaps his hand away and says, “It’s a good opportunity to test out my training. Thanks to you, I feel like I can take on anyone. Even if they fight dirty, like you.” As they spoke Tylor took a few steps away to get a better look at the path to the radio tower.

“You’ll thank me when the time comes.”

Zell is a little more than confused about they way Squall and Seifer have been acting. “What the hell… I thought you guys didn’t get along? You’re like, all buddy-buddy now.” He sighs and continues, “Listen. This ain’t no ordinary battle. It’s an exam, an important one. I’m tellin’ ya, we have to stick to orders.”

“Then you stay here.” Seifer tells Zell. “I don’t need any boy scouts.”

Zell yells at him, “What was that!!!?”

Tylor turns back to his squad and says, “Let it go, Zell. I say we go.”

Seifer looks at Tylor. “Oh, now you’re going to follow my commands too?”

“Zell is right when he says we have to follow orders. Our orders come from you, Seifer. If anything happens the blame will fall on the shoulders of the captain, not us. During this exam if you tell me to come, I’ll follow, even if it means going against orders.”

Seifer smiled. “Well, what are we waiting for then?”

“After you, captain.”

Seifer leads the way to the radio tower. As they walk Seifer says, “The enemy is headed for the facility. We, Squad B, are to secure the summit.”

Zell moans to himself, “This is a bad idea…”

Tylor explains to him, “No one is forcing you to come, Zell.”

“Well I aint' backing down now!”

As they left the city they crossed over a long stone bridge over a gaping chasm. On the other side there were large stairs curving up around the rocky mountain path that led to the tower. The area is littered with dead or wounded Dollet soldiers.

As they began to climb the stairs they heard a gunshot to the left. A Dollet soldier is seen crawling down the stairs. He panics when he sees Squad B. “Ahhh! W-W-Who are you!?”

Squall explains, “Don’t worry. We’re SeeD candidates. We’ve been dispatched by Garden.”

“So what’s going on up there?” Seifer asks.

“The Galbian soldiers have entered the Communication Tower.”

Zell turns to Tylor and says, “Thought you said it was called a radio tower?”

Tylor shrugs. “Same difference.”

The soldier continues. “On top of that… that place has always been a nesting ground for monsters. If you guys are going up there you’d better be care-” Large hiss sounds come from a nearby bush as a long, green snake-like tail shoots out and warps around the soldier’s leg. “H-HELP!!” The tail starts pulling him in.

Tylor jumps in to help. He grabs onto the soldier’s arms to keep him from being pulled in. He yells out, “Squall! Cut it!”

Without hesitation Squall retrieves his gunblade and slices the tail, freeing the soldier. A horrible screech is heard from the bush as the tail recedes. Before anything else could happen Tylor carried the soldier to safety.

A giant snake-like creature emerges from the foliage. It has rough green scales with yellow spots and red spikes sticking out of its body here and there. It has large fins at both sides of its body. Its head is shaped like a cobra and alone it stands more than twice as high as any human.

As the battle begins Seifer shouts, “Listen up! This one is mine so stay out of my way!” Seifer whips up a Fire spell and casts it on the snake. A fireball shoots out of his hand and hits the creature in the face. But it didn’t seem to affect it at all. Frustrated, Seifer charges in for a head-on assault. Every time he tried to slice the snake it slithered out of the way. After his third try the creature fought back and wrapped itself around his body in a death grip. Seifer yelled in pain as the pressure continued to build, if something wasn’t done quick he would be crushed to death.

Squall and Zell were already on their way but Tylor raced past them with Armageddon ready in his hand. He slashed at the creature’s body to force it to release Seifer. The snake let out another horrible screech before letting go of him and withdrawing to a safe distance.

Tylor grabbed Seifer’s hand and pulled him to his feet. “I’m not even going to tell you how stupid that was, going in there alone.”

“Bite me.” Seifer spat.

The others had arrived. Tylor quickly began to explain their situation. “That thing is called an Anacondaur. It’s a reptile so fire magic won’t work on it, only ice magic.” The monster suddenly spat a vile liquid at the group. “Look out!” Tylor pushed the others away and blocked the liquid with his large sword. The liquid made sizzling noises as it dripped off his sword. “Venom.” He warned the others. "Don’t let that stuff touch you! It’ll burn you down to the bone!”

Tylor whipped up a Blizzara spell and cast it on the Anacondaur. Ice materialized underneath the monster and began to freeze over its whole body. The Anacondaur let out one final screech before in was completely engulfed in ice. Before the creature could break free Tylor charged to deliver the final strike. He jumped and pierced his sword through the creature’s body. The momentum from the jump made it easier for the blade to cut through.

The Anacondaur’s upper body fell off and shattered on the ground as Tylor made his landing. With the battle finished he secured Armageddon onto his back.

After they regrouped Squall stated, “Monsters, huh…?”

“That sucks.” Zell points out.

“More fun for us.” Seifer says. “Come on…” He runs up the stairs toward the Communication Tower.

Zell sighed, “…Fun? Pu-lease…”

Tylor went back to the Dollet soldier they had just saved. “Th-Thank you. You saved your life.”

Tylor told him, “Most of the streets in Dollet have been cleared of Galbian soldiers and are being guarded by more SeeD candidates. If you has the strength, go find help there.”

“I will, thank you.”

Tylor and the others tried to catch up to Seifer. When they finally caught up to him he was laying stomach first on the ground looking to the other side of the cliff. Tylor and the others quietly joined him. They saw two Galbian soldiers guarding the entrance to the tower. The door slid open and another soldier came out.

“The generator is up and running, no problem with the boosters!”

“…the hell they doing?” Seifer whispered.

The soldier continued, “Cable disconnection confirmed! Beginning exchange process!”

The other two soldiers replied, “Roger.” All three of them went inside. The door slammed shut behind them.

“Repairs…?” Squall asks.

Seifer stands up and says, “Who cares. This must be your first real battle. You scared?”

“…I don’t know. I try not to think about it.”

Seifer turns to Tylor and asks, “What about you, new boy?”

“Let’s just say I have a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen, and it doesn’t scare me.”

“I love battles. I fear nothing. The way I look at it, as long as you make it out of a battle alive, you’re one step closer to fulfilling your dream.”

Squall turns to face him. “What?! Your dream?”

“You have one too, don’t you?”

Squall turned away. “…Sorry, but I’m gonna pass on that subject.”

Zell finally decided to join the conversation. “Yo! Let me in on it, too!”

“Mind your own business.”

“Frickin’ hell…” Zell starts throwing punches in Seifer’s direction, but not actually hitting him.

“What’s the matter, Zell? Swatting flies?” Seifer starts to head down the path toward the tower’s entrance.

Zell punched the ground. “Damn you…!”

“Settle down, Zell. You’ll have you’re chance at him soon enough.” Tylor assured him.

“There you are!” They all look to the top of a nearby collection of rocks. The girl from Squad A was there, Tylor remembered her as Selphie, the girl he helped with the directory. She began walking down but tripped on an awkward rock and fell the rest of the way. After brushing herself off she addressed Squall. “Are you… Squad B?”

“Yes.”

Selphie noticed Tylor standing beside him. “Wait a minute… You’re the guy who showed me around, right!?”

“That’s right.”

“Thanks! I don’t get so lost anymore.”

Squall turned to face Tylor. “I thought you just came to Garden. How would you know your way around so well?”

“Uhh…” Tylor quickly tried to change the subject. “So, what’s your name?”

“Oh yeah, I haven’t told you my name yet. I’m… a messenger. Name’s Selphie, from Squad A.”

“You can call me Tylor.”

She looks around as if searching for something. “The squad captain’s Seifer, right? Where is he?”

Just then Seifer is seen running across the path on the other side of the cliff. Squall points to him. He shouts to them, “One of these days, I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout my ROMANTIC dream!” He ran into the tower.

Selphie sighed. “This sure is tough…” She jumped off the cliff and landed on the other side. “Captain! Wait up…!!!” She turns back to the rest of them and shouts, “What are you waiting for!? Come on! Come on!”

Squall looked as if he were readying himself to jump. Zell tries to warn him, “Squall… You’re not gonna… It’s a cliff, man… You’re not gonna jump off…?”

Squall thought better of his actions and said, “…No way.”

“I didn’t think so-”

Just then Tylor runs past them, jumps off the cliff and lands on the other side with a perfect landing.

“HOLY HELL!!!” Zell yelled. “You’re both crazy!”

Tylor called back. “Well, are you two coming or not?”

Squall calls to him, “We’re going to take the path, wait there for us!”

When they finally arrived five minutes later Selphie asked, “What took you so long? It would’ve been much quicker if you’d just jumped.”

Zell asks, “…Much quicker? Pu-lease… You wouldn’t normally jump off a cliff, OK!? Ain’t that right, Squall?”

He replies, “…Yeah, I guess so. You wouldn’t normally jump that.”

“Hmm…” Selphie thinks, “I don’t know…”

Tylor interrupted them. “We really don’t have time for this, you know.”

“Oh yeah! Let’s go find Seifer!”

As they walk toward the entrance of the tower Zell looks up to the top. “So this is the Communication Tower…?” The tower is very tall and has a platform at the top where all the satellite dishes reside.

“Sure is big…” Selphie states.

Screams are heard from inside the tower. The door opens and Galbian soldiers run out. Seifer comes out after them. “Cowards.”

Selphie comes up to him and shouts, “HEEEY!” but Seifer ignores her and goes back into the tower. She turns to the others. “The captain’s getting away!”

They enter the tower just in time to see a mechanical lift coming back to the ground floor.

“He went up.” Tylor tells them. “Let’s use the lift to get to him.”

The lift began to move as they got on. Selphie says, “Wow, this lift is pretty cool!”

Zell warns her, “Don’t get too excited or you’ll fall.”

“Of yeah, like I’m really going to!”

When the lift finally reached the roof they saw another Galbian soldier making repairs on one of the satellites. Unlike the other soldiers this one wore red and had large armour on his arms that doubles as machine guns. Tylor knew who this man was. His name is Biggs. His friend, a Galbian soldier in blue, is named Wedge and shouldn’t be to far away. “This goes here… and… There! It’s complete!”

The entire Communication Tower began to shake. All the lights on the tower turned on. The shaking worsened as something from inside the tower made it’s way to the roof. A giant metal cylinder shot out from the centre of the tower and opened up to form a giant satellite. It began to emit an eerie blue light into the distance.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” Squall demanded.

Biggs faces him and says, “Huhhhh? Likewise, MISTER! What do you think you’re doing here!? H-HEY! What happened to all the soldiers down below!?” He calls out, “WEDGE!! Take care of these twerps!” He looks around but sees only Zell, Selphie and Tylor. “W…Wedge?” Realizing he’s grossly outnumbered he says, “I…ah…Well…ah…I seem to be done here, so I’ll just be on my…” He began to back away towards the lift. “I-I’m leaving. Move it! Move! Move!”

Just then the Seifer is brought up by the lift. He slices the metal control panel Biggs is carrying out of his hand. “Sorry to crash the party.”

“Ah…AHH…AHHHHH! Are you CRAZY!!!”

Seifer points his gunblade at him and says, “Just shut UP!”

Biggs points his machine gun arm at the others and says, “That’s it! Prepare for the worst, you brats!” He starts shooting wildly at them.

Everyone gets out of the line of fire by using some nearby metal crates for cover. Seifer says to the others, “Why don’t you guys handle this?”

Tylor takes his sword Apocalypse and says, “My, that’s very generous of you.” He looks to the others and says, “Cover me.” before jumping over the crates as soon as the bullets stopped.

Tylor brought his sword down on Biggs who blocked it with his armoured arm. With his other arm he punches Tylor in the face. The force of the punch knocked him to the ground, he was lucky the attack didn’t break his face. Biggs points his gun arm and readies to fire off another round. Tylor rolls backwards onto his feet and dashed to the right as the spray of bullets barely missed him. Squall and the others had moved up behind him and had him cornered.

A blue Galbian soldier Tylor assumed to be Wedge arrived from the other side of the platform. “Major Biggs, have you finished the repairs, sir?” He then notices Tylor and the others. “What is the enemy doing here!?”

Biggs yells at him, “WEDGE! Where were you!? No pay for you this month!”

Wedge winced and said, “…Should’ve stayed home!”

While the others were occupying Biggs Tylor battled Wedge. He isn’t like any other Galbian soldier. He’s an elite, better skilled and stronger than the other soldiers. Since they both had swords this would be an interesting battle.

Tylor charged up to him and brought his sword up to his body. Wedge deflected it and countered with a horizontal strike. Tylor jumped back in time to avoid being hurt but the sword cut the sleeve of his jacket. Wedge cast a Fire spell on Tylor before he had a chance to regroup. A fireball left his hand and rocketed towards Tylor. He evaded the attack by rolling out of the way. When he was back on his feet he ran up to make another attack. Both swords clashed as they both used all their strength to push the other off balance. Tylor won and forced Wedge to fall.

Suddenly a small tornado came from above and threw Wedge into a pile of metal crates. Then it moved to Biggs and tossed him headfirst into a wall. A high, bat-like screech is heard from above. A giant winged creature recedes from the sky. Instead of legs it has a wide, pod-like tail with a large stinger on the end. Its body is purple. It has large bat-like wings that are red and long claws that are orange. Its most noticeable features are its orange devil horns and long orange chin that reaches two meters in front of it.

“What the hell is it?” Zell asks.

“It’s an Elvoret!” Tylor quickly explains. “You’re going to wish you were still fighting those Galbian soldiers once you face this thing. Watch out for its wind attack, it’ll blow you off of the tower if it can!”

Zell prepared himself to fight. “No worries! I’ll just summon Ifrit and blast it a new one!” He began to summon.

“No, Zell!” Tylor stopped him. “Ifrit’s attack might break the platform!”

Zell winced. “Damn, you’re right. Then what’re we supposed to do?”

Squall straightened his fighting stance. “We fight it ourselves.”

Tylor stood beside Squall and told him, “I’ve got your back, man.” Squall gave him a nod.

Squall and Tylor charged up to the monster while Zell and Selphie cast Thunder spells to keep the Elvoret at bay. Squall attacked first, he swung his gunblade but the monster dodged the attack by flying higher. Normal melee attacks won’t work if they can’t hit the monster.

Tylor saw that if he used one of the machines that held the satellites in place for leverage he could jump onto the creature’s back. First he jumped on a crate to gain some height, and then he jumped and planted his feet on the side of the machine. Before gravity could pull him down, with all the strength in his legs he pushed off and grabbed onto the Elvoret’s tail.

The creature made annoyed little screeches as it flailed around it the air trying to knock Tylor off. Tylor kept his grip firm with his right hand, his left hand held Apocalypse. He lifted his sword and lunged it into the creature’s pod. The Elvoret let out a horrible screech of pain as it hovered just above the tower platform. At the same time two Thunder spells hit the monster, in the head and the left wing. The attack caused the creature to lose altitude, making way for Squall to attack. He ran up to the monster and lobbed of its stinger with his gunblade. The Elvoret howled and backhand slapped Squall a few feet away. It winded him but he was able to get back to his feet.

Using his right arm Tylor pulled himself further up the monster’s body. He kept a steady grip on the Elvoret’s shoulder as he stabbed his sword into the creature’s back. The monster let out another horrible screech. It reached over its shoulder and grabbed Tylor by the waist. It tossed him into a pile of metal crates.

While Tylor was regaining his senses it turned its attention to the rest of the group. It opened its mouth and began to enhale. Tylor saw this and tried to warn the others. “Look out! It’s about to use its wind attack!” But before the others could get out of the way the creature emptied a tornado of air from its lungs.

The strong wind sent Zell sprawling into more metal crates near Tylor, Selphie was thrown into a wall, and Squall was knocked of his feet and slid over the edge of the tower. He managed to grab the edge of the platform. He hung helplessly over the edge five hundred feet above the city of Dollet.

“Squall!” Tylor shouted as he went to go help him.

His first mistake was taking his eyes off his enemy. The creature blew another gust of wind and threw Tylor into the side of a satellite dish. The impact was enough to make an implant of Tylor’s body into the side of the machine. Tylor smacked his face when he fell to the metal floor of the platform. His vision began to fade and the feeling in his arms and legs started to leave him. He was blacking out.

Zell and Selphie went to try and help Squall but they were taken off-guard by the monster the same way Tylor was. They landed somewhere further than where they started when they tried to help Squall.

Zell called out to Squall. “Squall! Hang in there!”

Selphie added, “Don’t fall!”

The Elvoret sent out another tornado that flung them both into a nearby wall. Seifer finally appeared. He jumped at the monster and slashed it with his gunblade. The creature screeched and hit the platform. Seifer rushed over to Squall and reached down to him. “Grab my hand!”

Squall shouted, “Seifer, behind you!”

The Elvoret came back and slapped Seifer with the back of its hand. Seifer went sprawling to the other side of the platform. He tried to lift himself but his arms failed him and he remained lying on the ground.

Tylor’s thoughts began to leave him as he slipped into unconsciousness. It’s over, he thought, we’ve lost.

One of Squall’s hands lost its grip on the platform. He was one hand away from falling to his death. He desperately shouted for help, “TYLOR!”

Something in the back of Tylor’s head opened up, like a door that had been locked and forgotten over time. Through the door came a rejuvenating golden light. Tylor’s strength returned to him tenfold. He lifted himself back to his feet and held Armageddon and Apocalypse firmly in both hands. White heavenly light poured from his eyes as two giant, silver, angelic wings shot out of his back. Hundreds of feathers came off his wings and flew around the tower in the strong mountain winds. He held his swords to his sides and opened his heart to the power coursing through his veins, and prepared himself for the Demon Killer.

One moment he remembered facing down the Elvoret with both swords in his hands. There was a flash of light, and the next thing he remembered was standing behind the monster, both his swords covered in its blood.

Thousands of cuts exploded a second later on every inch of the Elvoret’s body and wings. The creature suddenly exploded and started to catch on fire. Its body turned into dust and was carried away by the wind. The Elvoret let out a final howl that lingered in the distance.

Tylor’s body turned back to normal as soon as the creature was dead. He dropped his swords out of exhaustion and looked at his hands. “What was that just now? Was it my Limit Break?”

“TYLOR!”

Remembering Squall was still in trouble Tylor rushed over to him. He grabbed Squall’s arm just as he had let go of the platform. A second any later and the main character would have had to be scraped off of someone’s roof with a spatula.


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the-candyman   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 9:24 pm    Post subject: Re: A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 4) Reply with quote

youre doing great im not good at proof reading but i had one question.

[quote="Dynamo] While the others were occupying Biggs Tylor battled Wedge. He isn’t like any other Galbian soldier. He’s an elite, better skilled and stronger than the other soldiers. Since they both had swords this would be an interesting battle.

What does aregular soldier fight with?

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:57 pm    Post subject: okay Reply with quote

Quote:
The boat smashed through the stonewall that outlines the harbour.

this was among many many mistakes that have to do with tenses. you can't switch between present and past tense all the time, you know. fix all of these mistakes.
Quote:
“You want to wreak some havoc to, don’t ya?”

this is among many spelling mistakes that also need correcting.

Overall, it was a good chapter. plese fix up, and add a bit more description in the future, because it was hard for me to visualize many places. good job, though Very Happy .

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:33 pm    Post subject: SW Reply with quote

oh I forgot to mention....i noticed that you used the names biggs and wedge....these are names from star wars. do you like star wars? I love it.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Biggs and Wedge names came from Star Wars, but are final fantasy characters. They've been a lot of the games. FF7, FF8 and so on. They are actual characters in the story. Smile

A lot of POV switching and a lot of telling. Also another thing is that I think the swords name kept changing from Apoc to Arma. Nice chapter, but it still needs a lot of fixing up to do.
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