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by deafwriter_19 in Advanced Critiques
Young Writers Society Forum Index -> Storybooks » Storybook Archives

This thread was created on July 27, 2007
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The Golden Compass Goto page Previous  1, 2

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Ok, here it finally is*

Name: Lindsay Allen
Gender: Female
Appearance: Long brown hair, green eyes, light skin.
Daemon: Whippet (a type of dog, if you don't know)
Name: Aeschylus
Gender: Male (duh!)
Characteristics: Modest, spontaneous, outgoing, inquisitive, and competitive.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marie followed the small group in complete silence, Persaeon at her side. She was not surprised to find that they were headed for the Panserbjornes' ice huts but she was slightly apprehensive when they stopped outside the largest of these structures. Being the curious type though, Marie did not turn back.

With interest, the young woman listened to the conversation between King Iorek and the others.

"Yes, I helped defeat them with the Gyptians a long time ago. I'll get my bears and see what I can do," The King promised. Ashton nodded his thanks as King Iorek turned and re-entered his home.

"You will come with me," The other Panserbjorne decided. "This way. I will find you somewhere suitable to stay." Ariel, Ashton and their Daemon's began to follow and after a moment, Marie and Persaeon followed, keeping their distance.

"I think we know enough," Persaeon whispered.

"Yes. They need help," Marie agreed.

"But will they accept it? They are all leaders. All solitary. Not so unlike ourselves and how many times have we turned down help?" Persaeon chuckled.

"Our mission is not so important."

"Clearly if we are so easily distracted."

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Bears," Iorek called to his bears, "the Oblation Board has returned. Not near us, but in America. The American Goverment has come offering us a job to help them fight the Oblation Board.

"Some of you will offer to work free, but I know others will want pay. The humans are willing to pay any price to get us to help them.

"Do you wish to add anything Ashton?"

"Yes. As Iorek said, we're willing to pay any price. And we thank you sincerly if you come and help us. I'll be staying here for another twenty-four hours to collect a list of who's coming, and I'll be leaving by zepplin tomorrow. Five zepplins will return in another day to take you to come to America."

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This sounds really interesting. Mind if I join? I haven't read the book but I want to see the movie so any help would be great.

Name: Kali Iso
Gender: Female
Looks: Tall, thin, curvy, shoulder length brown hair.
Personality: Kind, loving, helpful. She will do anything that she thinks is right.

Name: Solsthiem (Souls-thyme) or Sol for short.
Daemon: Timber wolf
Gender: Male
Characteristics: Funny, proud, smart, inquisitive
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I stepped onto the Zepplin early the next morning. "Hi Kali," I said to the woman waiting in there. "The bears are joining us."

"Good," she replied.

"Captain, take off."

"Aye, sir," the captain said and the zepplin began to rise.

"How many bears do we got?" Kali asked.

"About twenty, but only three of them will do it for free. The others are asking for a thousand to ten-thousand dollars."

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"That's not a bad price," Marie murmured, causing the other occupants of the zepplin to spin around and draw their weapons.

"What are you doing here?" Ashton demanded.

"Helping out," Marie replied, laying a soothing hand upon Persaeon's head as he bared his teeth.

"I take it you know her?" A tall, brown haired girl asked, her wolf Daemon watching the fox suspiciously.

"We met her yesterday," Ariel, who had already been introduced to Kali, did not seem to mind Marie's presence.

"If you don't want our help, we can go..." Marie hesitated and then shrugged before climbing to her feet.

"No... you can stay. But how did you get in here without the captain and the pilot noticing?" Ashton asked.

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Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings.
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kali was sitting on a bench in the Zepplin when Marie appeared. Sol was eyeing the Fox carefully. Kali didn't seem the least bit surprised to see Marie here.


*That's all I got for right now*
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Name:Ella
Gender:Female
Age:18
Appearance:Brown hair, bright green eyes
Daemon:Osprey
Name:Brynn
Gender:Male
Characteristics:Solitary, dependable, assertive, softly spoken and passive.



*I'll add more when i catch up with the story, fill free to bring me into the story.*

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I just followed you on board," Marie said, "it was fairly simple."

I sat down on the bench and Anwyn sat at my feet sphinx style. "Well I hope you're up for a long journey," I said.

"Oh, I can." She sat on the bench opposite of me and her fox Daemon curled up on her lap.

"Sure we can trust her?" Anwyn said.

"I'm not sure, but if she goes to turn on us, go after her Daemon."

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

alrighty another late arrival!

Name: Evaglade
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Hair color: Golden
Eye color: Deep Green
Height: medium
Weight: very skinny
Daemon: Leapord
Name: "Bert" (not his real name, but his real name is reserved for when she's in trouble, which she gets into a lot)
Gender: Male

Ash said he'd put me in since he's awesome like that. =D

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For the record, I'm not a crack addict, I don't chase rabits wearing waistcoats down holes, and I can't see the future.

And if you don't get any of those you epic fail.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We landed at the Zepplin port in the Maryland Country. "This is America?" Marie asked. "It ain't that impressive." I ignored her and walked off the ship.

When I stepped off the, my cousin, Evaglade came at me head long. "Welcome back," she said.

"Hello Evaglade," I said. "What's life been like back here at home?"

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eva shrugged, "a bunch of more kids dissappeared, other than that nothing much. The Daemons have been going around scaring the crap outta everyone. Some of those aren't all that warm and fuzzy."

"Like 'Bert'?"

Eva wrapped her arms around the jaguar next to her, "'Bert' is the most cuddely thing you will ever see."

"Riiight."

She stood up and turned to Marie, "who's this?"

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"This is Marie and that's Ariel," Ashton said, introducing us to his cousin.

"It's nice to meet you," I added before heading towards the second zepplin that had landed. The panserbjornes began to file out and amongst them was a tall, dark haired boy who had just turned seventeen. I waved him over.

"Hey Slade, no trouble boarding then?"

"No. It was like your message said, I just followed them on-board."

"You brought a friend?" Ashton demanded, raising an eyebrow.

"Well hello there. I'm Slade and I heard you guys needed some help. We've got a few more friends on the next Zepplin actually," Slade flashed a winning smile just as two girls disembarked from the third zepplin and headed our way. Lindsay and Ella could have been twins if not for their personalities. Both had long, brown hair and bright, green eyes.

"I'm Lindsay and this is Ella," The first said, a whippet Daemon at her side.

"Hi there," Ella added in a soft, slightly shy voice as her Osprey Daemon eyed the others with interest.

"Wow," Kali breathed. "So how do you lot know each other?"

"You could say that we're adventurers but we crossed paths a few years ago and decided to keep in touch. When Marie sent word of your mission, how could we not want to help out?" Slade explained.

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Okay, I think we have all the characters in one spot now...

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the acrid whims of angel's wings
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kali watched Sol nervously step off of the zepplin.
"You know I'm afraid off heights, Kali!" he shouted.
"Just get over here, Sol," she replied to him.
He trotted over and Kali jumped on his back.
"So what do we do now?" Kali asked no one in particular.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ella watched the others talking, Brynn sat on her shoulder looking everything over around them. He spread his wings and shook them out.

'Not a bad bunch,' she commented to him.

'No, not at all. You'll be around the group you know so don't worry about it.' Brynn smilled, nope not at all.

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Christ Paris: A guy the world gave up on. The plane he was flying disappeared Nov. 1 of this year. A few days ago the searchers gave up the search. May he prove everyone wrong and still be alive.
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This thread was created on July 27, 2007
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This thread was created on July 27, 2007

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