Topic ID: 17796
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Cabassi_Crime_Family
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 23 Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 79 Reviews: 36
300 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:02 am Post subject: Critique Shop - Open |
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Hello, YWS.
We are the Cabassi Crime Family. As of now we offer a service to all, however, as with any mafia, it will cost you.
We are here to offer you Critiques. Perhaps you didn't get any. Perhaps you want another opinion. We are here for you. We critique poetry, fiction, non-fiction, and everything else on YWS.
Here is how this system will work:
10 points will get you a generalized critique. The CCF will give its initial sentiments on your story and some helpful advice, but no specific references.
50 points will get you a high quality critique. The CCF will go in-depth into your work and give you a line by line crit as well as advice and other helpful information.
Simply Donate your Points to the Cabassi_Crime_Family with a message containing the amount you donated and a link to your work.
The CCF works in a timely manner and you will receive your Critique within 5 days of your donation.
We look forward to doing business with you,
Cabassi Crime Family |
Last edited by Cabassi_Crime_Family on Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:38 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Suzanne
won NaNoWriMo! Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 7054 Reviews: 1751 Country: Riverbluff, MO 450 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:18 am Post subject: |
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Oo
I feel somewhat frightened. |
_________________ Dr. Bishop: Am I required to keep him alive?
-Fringe
Read The Party Killers! |
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Black Ghost
Life Is Sexually Transmitted Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Feb 2006 Posts: 986 Reviews: 276 Country: The Edge of Inspiration 300 Points
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JabberHut
the One and Only! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1012 Reviews: 455 Country: Candyland 322 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:31 am Post subject: |
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...you're really really scaring me, you know that?
Anyway...I hope your business runs well!
P.S. Don't kill me! |
_________________ "I want to puke happiness all over you people..." –Suz on finishing Death Machine
"WWJD: What Would Jabber Do?" -- Jabber
CIA -- Join today!
Recruiting all WoWers! -- Join today! |
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Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 5281 Reviews: 1323 Country: England 623 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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You're making a business out of critiquing?  |
_________________ Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
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Ofour
Boak Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 02 Feb 2007 Posts: 588 Reviews: 187 Country: Happyville 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| You wouldn't do it out of the kindness of your heart? Shame on you! |
_________________ ln(-a)=i(pi) + lna |
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Tyd
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 196 Reviews: 6 Country: England 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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| But-but people can get it for freee from here! What makes your company so special!? >D Good -luck |
_________________ As is a tale, so is life; not how long it is, but how good it is. |
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Cabassi_Crime_Family
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 23 Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 79 Reviews: 36
300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:58 am Post subject: |
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There seems to be some confusion. This is not a replacement to the normal critiquing on YWS.
This is for those who have yet to recieve a crit, or would like more.
If you want your piece torn apart, giving you all the helpful adivce you can handle, then we are the critiquers for you. No one can give you the quality critique that the CCF can. |
_________________ Sono La Famiglia, Capici?
Need a critique? Look here for more Information
CCF Critique Shop |
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Suzanne
won NaNoWriMo! Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 7054 Reviews: 1751 Country: Riverbluff, MO 450 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:01 am Post subject: |
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Shouldn't you be the Cabassi Critique Family?
Crime family just sounds so much more... violent. Oh. That sounds like fun. |
_________________ Dr. Bishop: Am I required to keep him alive?
-Fringe
Read The Party Killers! |
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Ofour
Boak Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 02 Feb 2007 Posts: 588 Reviews: 187 Country: Happyville 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Shouldn't you provide samples? |
_________________ ln(-a)=i(pi) + lna |
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Charlie II
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Posts: 251 Reviews: 71 Country: England: Land of the pasty! 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting:
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| 10 points will get you a low quality critique. |
Err, I'd change that. I can understand what you're saying but no-one should ever give a 'low quality' critique. Maybe a less 'in depth' critque, but not a 'low quality' one.
| Quote: |
| Simply Donate your Points to the Cabassi_Crime_Family with a message contaning the amount you donated and a link to your work. |
So we have to 'pay' before we know whether it will help or not? Do you do refunds if it hasn't helped?
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| The CCF works in a timely manner and you will recieve your Critique within 5 days of your donation. |
Ah. I may have misunderstood this sentence. You say 'timely' at the beginning but then say '5 days' later on?
That has to be a typo.
I'd seriously recommend bringing it down to a few days or so. I, personally, wouldn't want to wait five days for a critique .
| Quote: |
| No one can give you the quality critique that the CCF can. |
Nice persuasive marketing talk , but unrealistic.
Overall? Nice idea, I can see where it's going. The persuasive points were phrased quite nicely. I'm just not sure if this will take off. If someone is waiting five days for a critique (I know you said within, but it implies it could be five days), then they'll probably get a free one during that time. People often ask for crits in chat, you should consider advertising yourselves in there. Muscle in on the competition! Hope you don't get bored of critiquing either.
(By the way, this critique was completely free. Consider it a complimentary 'welcome critique'.)
EDIT: And by the way, you have a competitor that undercuts your price. Look up a bit.
DarkLight |
_________________ I used to be "DarkLight" but now I'm "Charlie II"!
... and you can leave out the "II"
"Eyes open. Head clear. See much. Say little." |
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Suzanne
won NaNoWriMo! Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 21 Sep 2006 Posts: 7054 Reviews: 1751 Country: Riverbluff, MO 450 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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Haha, I wonder if any of the newer-ish members realizes this isn't a new random person, and it's the CCF. heh heh.
Yes, you have competition :-p I'm free! And I'm awesome ^_~ |
_________________ Dr. Bishop: Am I required to keep him alive?
-Fringe
Read The Party Killers! |
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Sumi H. Inkblot
can divide by zero Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 2995 Reviews: 268 Country: Mu 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Claudette wrote: |
Yes, you have competition :-p I'm free! And I'm awesome ^_~ |
Hear, hear.
Yeah, I'd muchly like to see a sample. I'm not spending points on a critique that would pick up all the wrong errors. |
_________________ Capitolism is the uneven distribution of wealth.
Socialism is the even distribution of poverty. |
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Charlie II
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Posts: 251 Reviews: 71 Country: England: Land of the pasty! 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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*sticks out tongue*
I still stick with the rest of my argument.
Ok, the constant use of 'we'. I get it's more than one person but I don't get why. Maybe it's some darker presence from within YWS. Like SPEW, but not SPEW.
And I'm sure I've heard the CCF acronym before. Looks like I've got some trawling to do.
*trawls*
DarkLight |
_________________ I used to be "DarkLight" but now I'm "Charlie II"!
... and you can leave out the "II"
"Eyes open. Head clear. See much. Say little." |
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RatchetWriter
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 141 Reviews: 57 Country: USA - 300 Points
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:42 pm Post subject: |
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Hey cool!
I may have to check the local prices around here though.
Magicman and Claudette sound good.
Anyway, what does Cabassi mean? Or CCF? Constant Crits Fmaily?
Um... oh yeah. I think it's a great idea, and regardless of the price, you'll probably get business from me. I never crit enough to get even near Featured Member, and as far as I can see that's the only use of points.
*cringes a little* I actually thought 50 points was a bit cheap for a real good crit.
Seeya around! |
_________________ ~S.P.E.W~ "Special People Enthusiastically Writing"
*sigh* "Another day, another death course."
Ratchet |
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