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Hope For The Hopeless
Hope For The Hopeless

by writ3rindisguis3 in Dramatic Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on July 7, 2007
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Chasing Rainbows Chapter 20

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:53 am    Post subject: Chasing Rainbows Chapter 20 Reply with quote

Chapter 20

Tea hugged Eolen tightly, as she heard the door open. He was back. The man she had come to dread and loathe was back. Eolen sighed sadly and looked down at his sword. Tea shook her head whispering, “Lets not aggravate him.”

Eolen nodded and hugged her. They sat in the kitchen on the floor. Tea wore only a dressing gown; Eolen was admiring her in it and panicking. She leant over and kissed him with such passion he was shocked he felt tears coming from her eyes. She pulled away, “I had to kiss you, this may be the last time I ever see you alive. I have to make sure I say goodbye properly.”

Eolen nodded, and kissed her back pulling away tears in his eyes too. He had known when he took the job of shadowing Jared Lyons, he could die, but he hadn’t known he’d fall for Tea. She was beautiful, everything about her was beautiful. At first when he had watched her at a performance, he found her grace a thing of splendour. It wasn’t an absolute accident he had been made to watch her. He’d asked. Though he never knew she’d fall for him and never imagined his last moments in happiness with her. Eolen heard the footsteps fade away. He looked over at Tea and saw a goddess, she was absolutely glorious. He had to say something, “Tea, remember how we didn’t finish, because I was too afraid.”

She looked up startled and surprised, “Yes! Why do you mention it?”

Eolen coughed shyly, “It’s just you deserve…”

Tea nodded a look of understanding on her face, then she frowned, “I know what you mean, but not here…”

"He stared down at his shoes, fidgeting slightly with his sleeves and said in a quiet voice, "but... erm... Where then....?"

She giggled standing up, “You should look around now and again, we passed about fifty rooms.”

He could see her beautiful legs as she stood up, and then the dressing gown fell hiding her legs. He followed her up, very aroused

Eolen looked as Tea giggled he replied nervously, “Erm… Tea I’m terrified here, please understand you were my first. I just…”

Tea strode over to him and shut him up with a long kiss; Eolen eyes opened again wide in shock then closed as she kissed deeper. She stopped and smiled suggestively, “I’m wearing nothing underneath.”

Eolen stared at her mouth gaping open and eyes wide. He growled with such passion, “Tea, please!” He then began to untie the cord keeping him from feeling her true warmth.

She grinned and pulled away exposing her upper body slightly, seeing him stare she laughed and whispered with such voluptuous lure, “You want me!”

Eolen screamed, “Yes!” He tried to go over to her again, she watched him smiling, when he was almost done she backed away once again. She swung round again causing the cord knot to slip apart. She stood there her dressing gown open.

Tea laughed gaily and ran out the kitchen opening one of the doors. She threw off her dressing gown seeing him staring at her through the doorway. She stood again her full naked form in full view of his eyes. She then leapt into the bed covering herself with the blanket. Eolen stood staring at her in the bed. She winked and watched as his trousers went hard. Tea pulled the blanket down a touch revealing her breasts rather provocatively.

He stared for a few seconds as Tea continually pulled the blanket down. Eolen craved staring at her curvaceous body then he tore off his trousers and jacket and leapt on to her; she ripped off the rest of his clothes in a fit of maniac lust, but his boxers. Eolen climbed on her as she clawed his back already feeling ecstasy. He lay on her and began to nuzzle one of her breasts. She moaned her heart beat speeding up. She so wanted him inside her. However, he only teased her by only giving her the pleasure of nuzzling her breasts.

He began to kiss her neck, sucking, her sighs became more excited. She moved her hands towards his boxers and tore the garment, letting his manhood protrude fully erect.

Tea grew impatient and pushed her thighs up, finding his manhood, he stopped sucking her breast let out a moan and then pushed down into her. She gasped and began to sweat, scratching his back as he pushed in and out of her. Bending down to kiss her she relaxed. Her fingers clawing as she felt so far into bliss. He kept pushing into her faster and faster. Tea bit his lip and pushed his manhood further into her.

Her completely unclothed form was drenched in sweat. He kept pushing harder, sucking her right nipple. Tea climaxed as Eolen stopped sucking and cried out with her. He rolled off and lay next to her, but she wanted more, finding his manhood she crawled down under the covers and towards him. Finding him she stuck her mouth towards the tip and licked teasing him, he let out a moan of protest, Tea giggled under the covers then began to suck. He cried out in shock but began to sigh and groan in pleasure. Tea sucked, her eyes closed listening to the great pleasure she was giving her lover. He groaned aloud and climaxed. Tea licked some off then slid back up, Eolen looked at her, “One more time?”

Tea looked at him hungrily, “Yes!”

Eolen climbed back on to her and began again; she let out soft mewlings, which turned into moans. He kissed all over her upper body in a fit of passion. She gasped and buried her head into his chest. Tea snaked her legs round him, pushing him ever deeper into her nether region. Her head still buried in his chest, her short blond hair shimmering with sweat. A soft moan elicited from her lips, turning into a loud cry as she threw her head back and climaxed, her legs slipping off around his torso, “Eolen!”

After they’d both peaked again, Tea lay next to Eolen, he didn’t run like before, he stayed. She closed her eyes and slept. He wrapped an arm loosely round her as she slept. He yawned, a little rest before everything was swung upside down.

Jared sat in his study, why couldn’t he get the last look Raed made out his head. The man was dead he was no longer a threat. The look though, Jared had killed many people, never had they looked at him that way. It was either shock or horror. Never that. He shook his head annoyed, a dead man couldn’t affect him, even if he could the dead man would never catch him. He was going to send that no good cad Eolen to fight in the war. He had known for a while, Eolen had been a spy. Though Jared loved a game, but the fun had ended when Eolen touched his toy. The stupid fool should have kept his heart where it belonged. In his chest.

There was another reason he was going to leave Loka’saw, the contract with Lawrence had to end. Of course he’d never met the man, but anyone who controlled what he did they all ended up dead. If someone stood up to him, they ended up dead. When Tea was an old ugly soulless ghost he’d kill her. No one lived who stood up to him. Poor Cassandra didn’t know this. They all ended up dead!

Jared then thought… wait! he had seen the face; it hadn’t been a big deal then. Wilfred Lyons face had been the same. The frail form lay in the bed and spoke the words. It was all coming back the words he spoken and the expression following them was too much for his twelve-year-old mind to comprehend. “I have no son…” Jared shivered.

He stood up suddenly feeling weary. He had booked a ship today and would leave this all. Unrest and chaos caused by my leaving. Let someone else pick up the pieces, he thought. Jared tucked in his chair and walked out the room, swearing he saw a face in corner of his eyes. When he turned, it was gone. Jared growled loudly, “Quit this haunting or I’ll…”

He saw his butler passing him and stopping to stare. Jared gave Goram a warning look as if to say “Say anything and I’ll kill you!”

The butler bowed and walked off briskly. Jared watched him walk away. He turned back around and walked off down to the kitchen. He had now decided it was time to end this game. He was pretty sure they had made love while he’d been away. Very well, but Tea would regret this make she’d pay with all the fiendish plans he had for her.

After walking down the long corridor, he came to the Kitchen to see Tea feeding herself and Eolen waiting patiently. Was he going insane? They shouldn’t have been here rooms were available. Tea stopped eating and came to where Eolen stood, “Master Lyons our fate?”

Jared went backwards, what was this, was it a trick, surely it must be a trick, but here they stood ready to be commanded. For the second time in under a minute, he asked himself was he going insane?

Jared quickly regained his composure not wanting to seem weak, “We’re leaving, pack up, lover boy is being left at the recruitment office.”

Tea bowed, “Very well Master Lyons.” Eolen followed suit and left with her.

Jared glanced at this in disbelief; within a second, he rushed to his wine cabinet and downed two bottles. He just needed to leave this place, too many ghosts. He wasn’t running he was going to kill Lawrence. Then he’d be free from the contract. It wasn’t running, he mentally insisted.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

...whoa. Okay, I really wasn't expecting a full sex scene between Tea and Eolen, especially when Jared just got home...wow. Lol, great writing though. I can really see the love between them now. Smile
Jared needs to leave!!! I know it will happen in time but I just want it to happen now! lol. Can't wait to read the next!

~Rieda

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh. Very.... erm.... pornographic.
But anyway, it was well written. Watch your punctuation, I saw a couple missed full stops and the like.
Your writing has improved... phenomenally. Everything flows so much better now!
*appluades*
I'm wondering... whether the two guys will meet? In the army? Hmm... I'll just have to wait and see.
Damn!
I hate waiting! So get writing. Laughing
-nutty

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hrmm I realized in some bits there was more telling than showing. For example:

She leant over and kissed him with such passion he was shocked he felt tears coming from her eyes.

What is a passionate kiss? Is it a kiss that lasts for more than five seconds? What is it? Show it. Also, you used the word "passion" several times. What's up with it?

The sex scene, I believe wasn't really necessary and a simple hug or kiss would had been fine. It just...doesn't fit the fantasy theme. Makes it sound not so fantasyish.

Overall, it was well written. However, after reading a few of your chapters, this story isn't something that I would like to read for fantasy. I'm more into good verses evil kind of stuff like Final Fantasy. That's just me, since I play a lot of games. If you do get this published, I will buy it as even myself, I need to get out of my comfort zone more.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. That scene. E & T. Just....whew. Shocked Full on and in detail, yeah? Shocked Ahem. *scoots away to the next section*

Oh btw. I forgot where I found this line >>>
Quote:
Jared then thought… wait! he had seen the face...
But you need to capitalize "he".

Jared's weird. Before, I thought he was just evil. But the guy is like psycho asylum crazy. Confused And like Rieda said: He needs to leave!!

Very Happy lol Good job with this! keep at it

-Syd

ps. don't forget to italicize thoughts.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awwwww! I'm so happy for them...but wtf? Why are they all like "Very well Master Lyons"? That threw me off. When has Tea ever called him master? What are they planning? Come on! grrrr...XD jk. Very Awesome Sig! Love it! Can't wait for the next Chapter.

Lots O' Luv,
Lindsay

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

... So how many sex scenes has this been...

Alexzander seeing Tea
Tea and Eolen
Tea and Jared
Alex and Quinn
Tea and Eolen

... did I miss any? Well... I don't think I did.

What an interesting book, yes, let's publish it and give it to pre-pubescent children with the hopes of teaching them how to read out sex scenes. *Kicks you*

Jeez, that was risky though, with Jared home... it's not that fun to have people in the house while you do it, trust me I know this.

Well... I can't wait for the last chapters... and wehn we edit I'll help you.... I promise Smile
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