A smiling Face that will no longer be seen. A ruby of Jedi that will never feel or love again.
A voice that will never be heard but yet I can almost hear her voice in the heavens above.
A love that will no longer be felt except in memories and in dreams.
I long to join her but I can't or the life of others will fail.
I long for her touch but I will never feel her again.
A force bond that will never be used and I want so to feel her touch. A name that will go unheard. Mara come back!!!!
My light is gone and so is my heart. I will never again be whole.
(I'm a beginner too!) I suggest you rewrite this, and instead of telling the reader what is going on, or how you are feeling, try to capture it, and express it through action or imagery, or sensory, you know? You want to make the reader feel, rather than tell them how you feel. You want to pull the reader in with you. Make me cry, and feel lonely, and wish that I had "her" back too, you know? That's what poetry should do.
