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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1210 Reviews: 491 Country: Candyland 337 Points
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:05 pm Post subject: 19th Century King |
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I never really written a western type story. This chapter pretty much describes the main character and holds explanations for the rest of my story. Let me know how it is!
Chapter 1
He was the best sharpshooter in the country, yet no one knew who he was. Every boy had hopes of shooting just like he, being just as sneaky, just as strong and agile, just as cool. Every girl dreamed of meeting him, of being swept off her feet by the one and only, falling in love with the bravest man of all times. Yet, no one knew who he was.
He was called the King. No one knew where the name came from, how it was thought up, why it was given to him, but it was appropriate, so it stuck. He was the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Sheriff of sheriffs, the Bravest of the brave.
I dreamt of the King, dreamt of having such skills as he. The legends always intrigued me, how he was so skilled. I always wondered if the King was real, however. I have heard how he saved countless people, how he showed up to shoot the bad guy then run away to hide himself once again; yes, I wondered if he really existed.
My father was the sheriff of our small town of Ranger, looked upon with such respect from its people. Sheriff Beauregard Locksley was, sure enough, the best around these parts. No one expected the legendary King to show up at this small town, a town with a population of fifty-four. He had better cities to save. Besides, my father was skillful enough to defend the little people here.
His deputy, Deputy Luke Woods, was a funny man. I always enjoyed being with him when visiting my father’s office. He was a tall man with brown hair hidden under his black cowboy hat with a golden cord wrapped around on top. He wore round glasses on his nose and his uniform was of black from waist down and a blue shirt on top. He wore a badge on his shirt, though not as splendid on my father’s.
Luke Woods enjoyed his job as deputy of my father. He greeted everyone in Ranger with a hearty hello, a tip of the hat, and a funny, yet friendly, smile on his face. He was loved by everyone of the town, considered a friend by every resident. I noticed this when I was ten years of age.
My father did not receive such welcome. When he walked down the road and someone greeted him, he would only grunt and move on. When there was a fight in the bar, he would only shoot his gun to the ceiling and let the men leave, claiming it to be a misunderstanding. When a lady was in trouble, he would only pull the man away and shove him down the road, saying ‘better luck next time, lover boy.’ Yet he wore the badge of a sheriff and, therefore, no one could do anything about him.
The mayor of our city, Ms. Abigail Clark, never paid much mind to this. To tell the honest to God truth, I didn’t think she cared. The only thing she cared about, I noticed, was her money and my father. She was a beautiful woman with shiny brown hair and wore the most stylish of clothes, heels everyday, red lipstick on her lips to match her pink blush. It sickened me.
My father, however, fell for her every whim. My mother died at childbirth, so he was a widowed man, a bachelor once again. I didn’t want him to remarry, however. Every woman I saw was a friend, nothing more. I could never give her a hug good-bye when moving out, could never take orders from her when doing chores. If any one, Ms. Clark would be the last of them to marry.
She was young, as young as twenty, while my father was thirty-three. I was thirteen when I noticed something between the two. I started staying away from my father, sticking to Deputy Luke until I felt ready to confront my father about her. I knew a pretty lady like her could not be good news, especially for my father.
I had a close friend while growing up, besides Deputy Luke. Booker Davis was my friend throughout the years. He was a black man, tall and burly, strong for those of his age. I was white, tall, but not as tall as he, dark hair, and agile. I was fast and tricky, for my hero was the King.
Book and I would always ride out on horseback, playing cowboys. We always pretended one was the thief, the other the sheriff. I was usually the sheriff for I knew how they worked, how they caught the bad guys. Book was always the thief, for anyone could commit a crime. The only difference is how it’s committed, and Book was very creative.
One day as we sat in the saloon, drinking with Deputy Luke on his break, the conversation went to the King. How excited I was to talk of him! Deputy Luke had another legend to tell us and I was all for it, full attention drawn to him.
“Well, Boston Shoemaker, a boun’y hunter of sorts, was ridin’ his horse down the dusty road,” Deputy Luke said though his southern accent. “He was chasin’, chasin’ after his target, a thief who stole from the Centra’ Bank of the city of Shamrock, the Big City, right? Anyway, Shoemaker was gainin’ on ‘im, followin’ ‘im off the road and into the surroundin’ trees. That was when he was trapped! He was suddenly surrounded by three guys, two of them appearin’ out of no where.”
Book and I sat on the edge of our seats as he told the tale, awaiting the next scene to be told. “Well, Shoemaker could easily take on two, but the thief held a gun in ‘is hand, pointin’ at Shoemaker. He was trapped, had no where to go, until the thief looked away at the sound of rustlin’ leaves among the trees near and above.
“Shoemaker took ‘is chance. He fought the two men, knocked ‘em to the ground with punches and kicks ‘til they were bruised ‘n’ unconscious. He turned to the thief, but he raised his gun again, threatenin’ to shoot. They stood there for a long time, then the thief started backing away to make ‘is escape. Shoemaker was just thinkin’ up a plan to catch ‘im again when there was a gunshot and the thief landed, face firs’, into the ground. He didn’ move at all.
“Shoemaker looked up ta see who shot the bulle’, but all he saw was a black shadow fleeing from the scene. Shoemaker looked at the thief. He wasn’ dead, but was severely wounded and could be saved by the doctors. An’ that, my friends, is yet another save by the King, another guy shot, ye’ not dead, a man named Boston Shoemaker who became five hundred dollars richer.”
I asked him questions about the King’s shot. How far away was he? How close to the heart was it? Was it an accident to not kill him or did he want him to live? This last question I knew the answer to. He wanted the thief to live. I supposed he did not like killing people, did not believe in murder.
When I was sixteen, my father sent me to college, a university in which he expected me to learn about the law and such, to become a good citizen and sheriff if I wished to take his place in Ranger.
I was off to a most rocky start. I could hardly read, yet here I was, expected to know words such as ‘constitution’ and ‘permitted’ and ‘discipline’. I knew ‘law’ and ‘allowed’ and ‘get in trouble’. I was given a tutor, a female to my most unfortunate self. She stuck to me like glue as she taught me these higher level vocabulary words and more words I knew were not allowed to be spoken, though never heard of.
I was at the college for six years because of my lack of knowledge, but I passed at age twenty-three, the tutor left after two dreadfully long years. I left as soon as I could for Ranger, excited to see the familiar and friendly faces of the town.
My father was forty-three, still a healthy, working sheriff of Ranger. He was pleased to see me in my brown suit and blue shirt, dressed up as if a I were a lawyer. I most wanted to see Book and Deputy Luke, but my father instead pulled me into his office. This was fine, I thought, then I could see my friends afterward. However, there was one other in the office, and I wished I could disappear on the spot for my face flushed hot red.
Abigail Clark sat on my father’s desk, legs crossed, sitting most attractively on my father’s papers and desktop. She smiled at me, white teeth gleaming against her tan skin. I nodded with respect, but did not smile or give any show of likeness.
“My, my, so this is your famous Bradley Locksley?” she said smoothly. She slid off of the desk and walked up to me. If my math was correct, which I knew it was, she was thirty years old, seven years older than I. This gave me an excuse to feel uncomfortable around her as I did my tutor six years ago. Her baby blue eyes bore into mine as if she were reading my mind, yet giving me such an affectionate look, I wished I could run away and seek sanctuary in the beat-up chapel down the road.
“Yes, my son was sent to college, if you recall, ma’am,” my father said, standing proudly behind his desk, chin up. “I received letters indicating he excelled in his studies remarkably after a couple years of tutoring to catch up with the rest.”
“Yes, tutoring,” she said with slight distaste. She turned and walked back by the desk. She leaned over the desk, muttering to my father whose eyes were not looking into hers, but elsewhere. I flushed of embarrassment and was about to sneak out when Ms. Clark turned around again. To my horror and fright, I saw my father leave from behind his desk and out the door without a glance at me, but a somewhat jealous look on his face. The door slammed shut and I was left alone with Ms. Clark.
“Ms. Clark,” I said respectfully, “where is my father going?”
“Oh, don’t call me Ms. Clark,” she said, walking up to me, taking a breath that seemed to have enlarged her chest. “If you are to be the new deputy of Ranger, you ought to call me by my real name, Abigail.”
“New deputy?” I repeated with shock and backed away uncomfortably. “Ms. Clark, I’m only fresh out of college! Shouldn’t I take a smaller job than that?” I really did not want to replace Deputy Luke for he was an amazing deputy already and I would only make a mess of things.
“Deputy Luke is a disappointment,” she said coolly, turning away from my with disappointment herself at my cowardly actions. “He does not exceed your father’s exceptions and, therefore, is a waste of a deputy. You, however, being your father’s son, will prove a great addition to our police force.”
I glared at her. “I will not replace Deputy Luke,” I said coolly, courage building up inside of me. “However,” I said quickly, seeing Ms. Clark’s eyes roll, “I will accept the roll of helping my father.”
“You mean a sidekick?” she said with, yet again, distaste.
“Ms. Clark, I will not replace Deputy Luke,” I said firmly. “If you want my help, I will like to help, but I will not become an officer until I have earned the position.”
She considered my offer and I watched her carefully, my brow furrowed. Soon enough, she walked up to me so we were almost nose to nose, I taller than her now after these long years apart. She said softly, and sweetly, “Then call me Abigail.” She kissed her fingers then put her fingers to my lips and left the office with snotty grace and beauty. I was left frozen to the spot, rethinking what I just done. |
Last edited by JabberHut on Fri Aug 03, 2007 11:30 am; edited 4 times in total |
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RatchetWriter
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 141 Reviews: 57 Country: USA - 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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It's great!
Okay, I'm not much on the detailed crits, mainly because I don't know the stuff, but,
His deputy, Deputy Luke Woods,
The repitition of deputy is bad. My suggestions would be:
His assistant, ------ or ------ His deputy, Luke Woods
Or another way, however you do it, deputy twice needs to be fixed. It kind of stops the flow of the story.
I kind of wondered, I have done no research on this, so I might be wrong, but a woman mayor? It's believeable for me, I just don't know if they had them back then.
And I'm just being picky here, do they have lipstick back then? This doesn't need to be changed if you don't want to, again I just don't remember if they had stuff like that.
As for your characters, great! I already have a deep distaste for Ms snotty Clark You are good at your characters personality. And believe me, that is a critical thing to a good story.
GREAT WORK! I'm really looking forward to the next section. No hurry though, I'm patient, and if you don't want to write any more, that's fine with me.
Hope this was helpful!  |
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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1210 Reviews: 491 Country: Candyland 337 Points
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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Deputy is actually the assistant. He is really a deputy sheriff. Well, if any people want to keep reading, then here's chapter 2. hope ya'll like!
Chapter 2
My father instructed me in the basics of being an officer. Countless times I reminded him I was no officer, but he did not seem to hear me. He taught me every law Abigail set and he enforced. He then showed me the wanted posters, the men they were to find and arrest. However, he did not make this much of a primary lesson. He seemed to have glossed over it, waving it away as if it was a waste of time. However, I went to college.
I recognized Abigail’s business air, how she was one who made the deals and always had her way. I recognized how she used her attractive looks to gain what she wanted, and I realized how my father was one of many who has fallen victim to her calls. I tried all I could to tell my father of her bad influences, how she should be replaced, but he ignored all my warnings and pleas.
At lunch break, I saw with Deputy Luke who was pleased to hear how I would be working side-by-side with him. He was thirty-seven or so, I could not remember. I kept telling him I wore no badge because I was not an officer, but he called me his buddy anyway. We were friends on the same job, enforcing the same laws, saving the same people, getting the same pay. I only smiled, for this was Deputy Luke that was talking to me, making a hilarious show of himself in the saloon.
Book was pleased to see that I had a job with my father and Deputy Luke, yet I could tell, on the inside, he was jealous. He worked at the saloon, offering free drinks to Deputy Luke and I, his two friends. I tried to not bring up my job, but either Deputy Luke had a tale to tell, or there was a fight in the bar I had to break up.
After lunch one day, I walked back to the office alone. Deputy Luke was down the road, enforcing the law, greeting everyone with a tip of his hat as usual. I did not want to walk down the roads again. As fun as that sounds, I wanted most to sit inside away from the sun.
I got a drink of cold water and walked down the hall, past the prison cells, and into my father’s office where it was quiet and no one sat in. I sat here, seeking a peaceful place to rest and think over my thoughts when I noticed the wanted posters on the wall.
“And these are the men we’re supposed to catch according to state law,” my father had said dully when teaching me the lessons of an officer. That was my lesson on the wanted posters and we moved on. I, however, noticed that there was a picture of a young girl about the age of ten. That was no boy, I thought to myself.
It was an innocent young girl, put up next to a young man about my age with the same last name: King. It was made a careful note that the man was a farmer and had no experience with a gun and, therefore, could not be the King. It was just a last name.
I jumped at the sound of the door opening. My father strolled in and stopped when he saw me looking at the wanted posters. He finally shrugged and went to his desk, searching the drawers. I returned my attention to the pair then blurted, “What could a farmer and his daughter do to become such a threat?”
My father looked up at me then to the posters hanging on the wall. He stood up, squinting at the pictures and the writing beneath their profiles. He then seemed to recognize the crooks. “Ah, the Kings. Yes, they are accused of murder of the mother and sister.”
“A ten year old?” I said in shock as I stared at the innocent expression.
“It’s an old picture,” he said. “I suspect she was about fifteen when the crime was committed. After that, they are suspect to past murders to which we have not found the real murderer.”
I couldn’t believe what my father was saying. I was afraid to admit it, but any officer would look into a case committed by a young child, a young girl. From that day on, I kept my eye on my father, listened to every tone and word he used and said, watched every action he committed. He was not enforcing the laws of the county and state, he was enforcing the laws of his choosing.
I figured, since I had so much time on my hands anyway, I would look into this case. I took out the file in my father’s filing cabinet and searched the manila folder. My father was busy in Abigail’s office that night, so I was free for a few hours.
The child’s name was Alana-Dawn King, daughter of Robert and Allison King. At this very moment, I knew my father lied to me, lied to the county, to the state. In his own handwriting, he crossed out plenty of information and wrote in his own, saying they were farmers who killed Allison King and the second daughter, Loretta-Jane King. They disappeared after the act, fleeing from the police and their destiny in the prison cells.
I tried to make out the writing under my father’s pen scratches, but it was impossible. They were completely hidden beneath the heavy marks. However, I did answer some questions. I saw her birthday and figured out she was only seven years younger than I. Right now, she would be fifteen years of age. Oh, how I angry I was at my father! I did not remember any shooting this year!
I looked at Robert King’s file next, laying it next to Alana King’s opened file. I found plenty more chicken scratches, the same lies and more. My father claimed him a crook all his life, how he stole from the stores, fled from the law, and much more. I was just too tired of all these lies.
However, I was able to read some things under the pen scratches of my father. I gasped at much of the information, piecing the puzzle pieces together. Robert King was known for being a good shot at the gun and bow ‘n’ arrow, being an excellent bounty hunter. His name was known throughout the west, but died after the rumor he killed his wife. He lived a life in secret, doing all he can to help, yet keeping himself hidden from the law.
The King.
My heart raced. This was the famous King of the West, King of kings, Lord of lords, Sheriff of sheriffs, Bravest of the brave. How I longed to meet him! I dreamed of meeting him, being taught all his tricks, and becoming the next King.
I heard the front door open and I hurried to close the files and put them in the cabinet. I stopped when I heard more than one voice and the footsteps stop. I stopped after putting the files away and listened, but I wished I hadn’t.
It was my father and Abigail in the empty building, except me of course. I heard them giggle and talk quietly between themselves. I sneaked to the door and peered through the lock. There they were on Deputy Luke’s desk, saying their ‘good-byes’. Oh, how Abigail tricked my father!
There they stood, holding each other, grasping at whatever they could and kissing hard and passionately. It was most disturbing and I wanted to leave. I noticed, however, that Abigail withdrew for a moment and started muttering words that I could hardly hear over my beating heart.
“You worry about your duties, I will keep an eye on young Bradley,” she said as my father continued to kiss whatever was vulnerable. She giggled at his sweetness and I was forced to withdraw before anything else happened.
I snuck out the back window quickly and quietly, then ran away to our home as fast as I could, wishing I was never there in the first place.
The next day, my father left for the office while I went to the saloon, hoping to see cheerful Deputy Luke and my childhood friend, Book. I wished I had never been there last night, never have snuck into my father’s files. Book noticed I was pale and asked me what was wrong. I did not reply, though, distracted by my thoughts.
“Bradley!” he exclaimed, slamming the bar next to me. I jumped at the slam and stared at him. “What’s gotten into you?” he demanded.
I sighed. “Sorry,” I muttered, leaning my head on my hand. “It was last night—”
“Bradley Locksley! I thought I’d find you here.”
I groaned and looked pleadingly at Book who stared at the door with wide eyes. At that look, I knew my worst fear came true. Abigail was here to take me away from my friends, take me to her office.
I felt her thin hand on my shoulder and I looked up at the Mayor of Ranger who smiled sweetly back at me, the same smile she gave my father. No longer was I filled with fear, but with anger. I wished I could just punch her then and there and be done with her! However, I turned fully around and tipped my hat with respect. “Howdy, ma’am,” I greeted my usual.
“Come, Master Locksley,” she said, taking my hand gently and caressing it. “We have much to discuss.”
I felt myself heat up, but I did not let that show in my face. I trained myself to hide my true feelings after college and taking this job, facing Abigail everyday. I returned a playful smile and said, “Then let’s discuss.”
I shot Book a warning glance, but he was too distracted with the pretty mayor in his ugly bar. Abigail led me away from my friend and out the doors, across the street to her clean office filled with expensive furniture of modern rich style. She closed the door and locked it behind me. I pretended to ignore her and looked about the office, impressed.
“You certainly have a sense of style, ma’am,” I said, walking about the room.
I heard her chuckle smoothly, felt her smile behind me. “I do what I can to make myself…comfortable,” she said, her voice getting nearer to me.
I turned around and she stopped in front of me, staring up at me with those baby blue eyes. “You had something you wish to discuss?” I asked softly, matching her tone. I finally decided this was my chance to get answers. I was never invited in her office, especially after a night she spent with my father.
“Yes, it’s about your progress,” she said, walking to her desk. She shifted through papers, seating herself in her high-backed chair. She looked up at me steadily. “I’m paying you some good money, yet I see hardly anything worth my money that you did.”
I stiffened at her comment. “May I remind you that I am not an officer? If I were, then I would be wearing the badge and hat, yet here I stand in my boots ‘n’ spurs. I enforce the simplest of laws while Deputy Luke and my father enforce the most serious of them. It is up to you as to how much I’m paid.”
She seemed to have tensed under my words, unprepared for an answer such as this. I understood. I was always the little boy who looked up to his father, thinking it as a game. Now, however, I knew what I was dealing with. I knew who Abigail was and I prepared myself for any moment I might face her, such as now.
“Master Locksley,” she said finally, folding her hands on the desk, “your father has informed me that someone has been searching his filing cabinets. He also informed me that only one other person received the lock to his private files, files Deputy Woods is restricted from. That one person is you. Therefore, you are committed of searching through his files. Unless you give me a good explanation, you will be under arrest, and I will see to it that your father arrests you,” she added, her eyes piercing.
I straightened, taking a breath, stalling for an answer. “I was doing your money’s worth,” I said and Abigail shifted uneasily. I smiled to myself for my victorious battles with her today. It pleased me to see her uncomfortable for a change, and my father was not here to defend her. When she did not reply, I finally asked, “Where is my father?”
“Doing his duty,” she said simply and coolly, looking away from me and to the papers scattered on her desk.
“You are the only person who knows what my father is ever up to, so I’ll ask you,” I said, walking up to her desk casually, her eyes still avoiding me. “Where is my father?”
She looked up at me, her jaw clenched. She seemed to be really annoyed with me at the moment and I was pleased. It was about time she felt about me as I felt about her. She seemed to be thinking how to answer then said, “He has been following my orders.” She stood up slowly, her eyes not moving from me now. She walked around her desk and up to me. “I’m afraid you’re just going to have to deal with the fact that your father doesn’t need you anymore,” she said with a smile.
I glared at her. I did not want to talk about him, but his mission. I knew he was up to something, otherwise I wouldn’t be locked in Abigail’s office. She smiled at my clear anger towards her.
“He has me now, Bradley Locksley,” she said with a victorious smile. “He sent you to college because I suggested it. He loved you and I knew it would be you who would get in my way in the near future. You were gone longer than I expected, but it pleased me and I got even closer to your father. He’s in my hands now and you can’t do anything about it, so don’t try,” she added with a sneer.
I felt my face get hot from my anger, yet I kept my cool as I said, “Well, ma’am, I suppose I better go—” she smirked and I stopped my closing remarks. “Is there something else you wish to discuss with me?”
“I have the key,” she said. “You can’t go anywhere until I see it fit.”
I stared at her, then said, “Where’s my father?”
“To catch the Thief of the thieves,” she said with a smile as I paled. That’s what he was doing. He was going to catch the King. My father never believed in the legends, though. This was not something I could easily believe, but, then again, this was Abigail Clark. She certainly had something up her sleeves to convince him.
She saw my thoughtful expression and smirked. “Your father is too easy,” she said. “He told me how he never believed in the King, but I convinced him, sure enough,” she answered my unasked question. “He’s out there, now, searching for Robert King and his daughter whose location is unknown. However, I care mostly for Robert King for the reward is too great to ignore.”
“You’ll never catch him,” I said coolly. I will never admit that my hero had a weakness to an amateur like my father.
“The King has not been around for long, actually,” Abigail said with a shrug. “He has started his streak of crimes six years ago, starting with the minors: stealing bread from the family tables, trespassing on others’ property. I look forward to catching the scoundrel. For nearly seven years he has caused me trouble, but today I know we will catch him, and I can’t have you interfering. I thought up a marvelous plan to catch the Thief of the thieves, but the one flaw was you—the number one fan of the King. Be wary: you may be next.”
With that, she walked away to her desk and seated herself. I sat on the window sill and stared out past the town and into the trees where my hero was known to dwell in and where my father would soon murder my one love and encouragement: the King. |
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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1210 Reviews: 491 Country: Candyland 337 Points
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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I dunno if anyone is reading this story still, but I'm gonna post anyway. Here's chapter 3.
Chapter 3
He was not caught, which was a relief to me. My father came empty handed and Abigail went on a huge tantrum, my father trying to calm the woman. Yes, I was eavesdropping yet again, but it was the only way to get information now since Abigail knew me better than ever after yesterday. I was stuck in her office through the night, finally let out this morning. Now, here I sat, listening through the window outside as Abigail screamed at my father. However, her cries soon died and my father’s voice was heard. I paled no doubt as white as a ghost when I heard his words.
“He will never mess with your town again,” he said. “I shot the one shot and he limped away, blood pouring from his wound. I would have stayed to get the body, but you know how that would look with the people of Ranger: the sheriff carrying a dead body in his hands.”
Abigail squealed of excitement as I sat as stiff as a board. I heard them kiss each other inside, but paid no attention to their actions any longer for my hero was gone. He was dead, leaving me alone with my father.
The next few years had gone by slowly and quietly. No longer were there any rumors of seeing the King. No longer were there new legends to share. No longer was I interested in anything but myself. I walked around with a gloomy expression and sad heart. I came over it and just did my duty, soon becoming just a bounty hunter, a mercenary.
I refused to work for Abigail and my father. So angry I was that I changed my name: Rudy County. It was a name that easily flowed from the lips and one could not forget its smooth sound. I no longer shaved, but kept my scruffy look, my dark hair no longer combed neatly but naturally laid. I wore a denim shirt with a bolo tie around my neck, a brown vest on top. I wore brown pants and boots, an outfit I never wore. I always wore the jeans and shirt, but now I dressed as a bounty hunter, looked like Rudy County and not Bradley Locksley. I also hefted a gun holster around my waist and leg, a revolver lying in its place, ready for me to swing out in an instant.
At the age of thirty, I had exceptional experience with the gun and was a top shooter in Ranger. I out-shot my father who was deeply impressed with me, asking if I, Rudy County, would become his new deputy. I refused, of course, saying I was not of this town and it would be better if one trusted by the people of this town was called to duty. This displeased him, but it pleased me for Deputy Luke was still in place.
I caught my first crook, one who was on the wanted board in my father’s office. After that day, my name was known. My father sent the man into the cell and Abigail paid me. I was on my way, but it was difficult getting through the mass of people into the saloon across the street. The saloon was no better.
I was most welcomed at the bar, but I made sure to sit next to Deputy Luke. I introduced myself as Rudy County. I knew the gullible Deputy Luke would not recognize me. He bought me a beer and we enjoyed ourselves with the crowd.
Book, however, gave me a queer look countless times. He did not greet me. He only gave me the ale and moved on down the bar, wiping the counter tops and refilling mugs. I was worried he recognized me and would tell my father, but then I knew he disliked the sheriff as much as I and stayed away from such business anyway. He was more interested in the money he earned as a bartender and the waitresses that came and went from behind the bar than the sheriff causing trouble.
Much more women were attracted to me now that I was known to catch crook after crook with such ease. Many people called me the new King, but I kept declining the compliment, saying the King was the one and only, no one can claim such a title. That was the moment of a strange event.
There were gunshots outside the saloon. Deputy Luke looked to me, but I stood up and moved away from the surrounding ladies to the outside. There I saw a couple men on horseback, shooting their guns threateningly. I walked out onto the road and they pulled to a halt. I heard the people stand on the balcony of the saloon, watching with bated breath.
“Who’re you?” they asked, spitting on the ground.
“Who are you?” I asked. I did not have a bad accent as the southerners from habit at school years ago. Much like Abigail, I had a more understandable speech from working with people in business and such.
The other man smirked and trotted in front of his companion. He had a cool air about him as if he was the King and others never noticed. “Boston Shoemaker,” he said.
I remembered the name. Deputy Luke told Book and I a story about him catching a thief and the King saving his life. I glared at him, wondering if this was his usual attitude, for he did not seem friendly.
“Rudy County,” I said simply. Boston Shoemaker cocked an eyebrow.
“I heard about you,” he said smoothly and calmly, it sent chills down my back. “You’re the bounty hunter, aren’t you? The one who catches all the crooks like a good little sheriff should,” he said with a sneer.
My eyes got smaller with anger. “What’s your business?”
“To rid of you,” he said and his companion pointed a gun at me from behind. I was not watching him and, therefore, was not ready to defend myself. “I have a feeling you will get in my way. I can’t let that happen. You’re as threatening as the son of Beauregard Locksley.”
I did not respond to the name. I watched his companion’s gun carefully. My fingers twitched, being so near my gun, but I did not draw it, for it would mean the end of me. I could only hope that Deputy Luke or Sheriff Locksley was near.
My hope came true, though not the way I had hoped. I saw Deputy Luke at the corner of my eye, walking out to the road a ways down. “You’re under arrest,” he called, gun held out. We all looked, including Shoemaker’s companion. I saw Deputy Luke’s hand was trembling, so I had to be quick.
I drew my gun and pointed at Shoemaker. Shoemaker saw me and backed up a bit. His companion, held his gun up at me still, but his eyes widened with fear. I could not shoot, for he would shoot me, then Deputy Luke would shoot him, and it would become a mess. I did not drop me weapon, however. I kept my eyes fixed on Shoemaker.
“Well, we can’t stand like this forever,” Shoemaker said in his cool and calm voice.
He was right, I knew, but I waited. I did not move. I looked as if I never heard him. Maybe they would get restless before I. Then I would have them. However, no one moved, except Deputy Luke’s trembling hands. He made me nervous inside, and I was right to be so for he dropped his gun on the ground. The gun shot from its fall and Deputy Luke fell to the ground with fright, but the bullet shot toward the horses, causing them to rear on their hind legs in fright. Shoemaker struggled to calm his steed while his companion struggled to hang on for dear life. I made another shot, purposefully missing them. I did not want to kill, but I did want to scare them into the jail cells.
The next thing happened too fast.
The companion’s horse was finally on all four hooves and he shot at me. I felt the bullet enter my chest. I fell to my knees, clutching my chest with my left hand, my right hand aiming for Shoemaker. I shot, but there were two shots at that moment; mine, and another. The companion fell to the ground, blood spilling out of the bullet wound. The horse took off and I saw Shoemaker run off as well, my bullet completely missed him.
Then I collapsed, completely knocked out.
I awoke in bed, a woman bending over me and cleaning my wound. I winced from the pain, but she calmed me, saying she was nearly finished. She taped it with the bandages then left the room as soon as Deputy Luke came in, his hands twirling his hat nervously.
“I’m sorry, Mr. County,” he said, his voice shaking. “I’m just not as brave as a real deputy.”
I smiled. “No, Deputy Luke, you are brave. You just gotta work out your nerves.” Deputy Luke smiled in return at the remark and shrugged. “Say, do you know anything about Boston Shoemaker?” I asked, shifting myself carefully for the wound hurt terribly.
“Oh, yes, sir,” he said and drew himself a chair and sat down. “He used ta be a boun’y hunter ‘round the Big City, Shamrock, ya know, until he went mad, I guess. Now ‘e has a gang and they do all sorts of crimes, yet catchin’ crooks to gain money. They’re all for the money,” he said with a grave shake of his head. “I s’pose yer now on his list of crooks.”
I shrugged and looked away. “I might be, but it won’t be easy.” I looked to Deputy Luke to reassure him of my safety. Then I asked, for I suddenly remembered what actually happened before I was knocked out. “Who shot the man?”
Deputy Luke took a moment to think of what I was talking about. When he didn’t seem to understand, I explained to him how there were two gunshots: mine and another’s. He assured me it was not him for he was the one who dropped the gun and chaos started. I silently agreed, but who could it have been? I no longer talked to Deputy Luke, so he left, leaving me with my thoughts.
My first thought was the King, but I knew him to be dead, just as everyone else did—killed by the sheriff’s own bullet. If it wasn’t the King, who did it? Someone saved my life and I was meaning to thank them…somehow. I didn’t know how, but I knew it would come to me. First, however, I had to get out of bed. |
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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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I'll just keep posting until the end. I think I got a good story going, but I would like some comments of encouragement. Here's chapter 4.
Chapter 4
I was kept in bed for nearly a week before the nurse said I could finally go. I didn’t like the long wait. Now I felt dizzy and it was hard to walk out the room, let along down the stairs. Deputy Luke came to assist me as I walked outside into the bright sunlight. I wanted to go back in, but I fought the urge. I had a mission: find Boston Shoemaker.
I really wanted to find that mysterious shooter who saved my life, but Boston Shoemaker was the bigger threat. I had to figure out what Shoemaker really wanted. I thought of the words he said to me and wondered what he meant. I have a feeling you will get in my way. You’re as threatening as the son of Beauregard Locksley.
Why was I in the way? I didn’t understand. I suppose Rudy County would be in the way since I was a tough bounty hunter. However, why was Sheriff Locksley’s son so special? There was only one way for me to find out and that was to confront Sheriff Locksley.
I told Deputy Luke I would be on my way to the Sheriff’s office. Deputy Luke said he would accompany me in case the Sheriff had any missions for him. We walked down the road, across the balconies and into the jail cell. I walked up to the Sheriff’s door as Deputy Luke sifted through the papers on his desk by the door.
I was about to knock when I heard voices inside—the familiar Abigail Clark and Sheriff Locksley. They were talking, and I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation, so I knelt down beside the key hole and put my ear against it. Deputy Luke looked at me strangely and was about to talk when I put my finger to my mouth. He shut up, but was still confused. He joined me by the door, listening to whatever was interesting.
“We lost your son a few years ago, true,” Abigail said, her heels clicking against the wooden floor as she paced about the office. “However, we’re still not sure if he’s dead. He could prove fatal to my plans. Also, Rudy County nearly killed my dear Boston. He should be taken care of as well. Once those two fall into your jail cells, then we can go on to mines. I don’t want the government involved. I don’t want to be caught.”
“I won’t let them catch you,” the Sheriff said sternly. “We made it this far, and we can make it to the end.”
“But Bradley—”
“My son’s gone,” he snapped then sighed. “I’m sorry, Abigail. I don’t want to talk about it. He’s gone and that’s that. I don’t want to talk about it. Rudy County is someone I can handle, however. I’ll take care of him—don’t worry.”
There was silence then Abigail’s heels clicked a few more times. “I’m sorry, Bo honey,” she said sweetly, a kiss sounded from the office. “I guess I’m just worried. I trust you will handle the job, just like all the others I gave you before.”
I moved away when there was clearly no more conversing between the two on the subject. I stood and walked back to Deputy Luke’s desk, Luke following on my heels. I sat in his chair, propping my feet up on the desk. Deputy Luke was about to say something when Sheriff Locksley opened his door irritably. He looked from Deputy Luke then to me, his eyes widening. “County!” He reached for the handcuffs, approaching us.
“Wha’d I do now?” I asked with shock. The Sheriff was always out for me, and now I knew it was because Abigail told him to.
“You’re trespassing on Deputy Luke’s property,” he said quickly, opening the handcuffs. “Hold out your wrists.”
“But the cell’s right here,” I said, nodding toward the barred cages next to me and down the hall. “You could just walk me in.”
The Sheriff considered it then nodded, putting the handcuffs back on his belt. “Deputy Woods, throw County into jail.”
“But sir!” Deputy Luke said, straightening into attention, his hand thrown above his brow in a salute. “He did not trespass! I gave him permission!”
“Then he trespassed on my property!” the Sheriff snarled. “Arrest him!”
Deputy Luke hesitated, then walked up to me, gently taking my arm and muttering, “I’m sorry, Rudy, sir.”
I only nodded for him to continue.
I stood up and Deputy Luke led me around the desk and passed the Sheriff, the Sheriff’s beady eyes not leaving me. Deputy Luke opened a jail cell and stood aside for me to enter. I looked from Deputy Luke to the Sheriff. I slowly made my way toward the doorway, but then made my escape.
I knocked Deputy Luke’s hat down over his face and threw him inside the cell. I caught the keys that were flying as the Sheriff ran for me. I stepped aside at the knick of time, holding out my foot. The Sheriff tripped. He caught his balance, but fell into the next cell as he did so. I quickly locked both cells and made for the exit when I heard Abigail’s voice.
“Rudy County.”
I groaned, but then switched my face to a pleasant surprise. I smiled and tipped my hat in respect. “Howdy, ma’am,” I said.
Abigail smiled, looking me up and down, her fingers tapping on her hip. She finally looked up at my sparkling eyes and said, “You forgot the keys.”
I smiled playfully. “My mistake,” I said, tossing the keys on Deputy Luke’s desk. With another tip of the hat, I said, “Good day, ma’am,” and left the sheriff’s office.
I was only down one block when I heard the Sheriff’s call from a distance, “I’ll get you next time, County!”
I held up my hand to let him know that I heard and continued walking, smiling at another escape from the Sheriff’s clutches. I kept walking until I was sure the Sheriff entered his office again, then I crossed the street and entered the saloon from the back ally since it laid just across the street from the Sheriff’s office.
I was greeted with cheers and whistles as I entered the saloon. They all seemed to have saw me running down the street, escaping the Sheriff yet again. Book, praising me on my escape, gave me a beer ‘on the house’. I drank with the other guys, yet I still saw Book eyeing me peculiarly. I was about to ask when I saw a new wench walk up behind the bar, carrying a tray of empty mugs.
She was beautiful in my eyes, her brown hair curled and pulled back in a tail. Her curls fell about her face as she leaned down to fill some mugs, giving me as well as the other guys a delicious sight. However, my mind drew me to her necklace around her neck—a locket, it seemed. When she stood, it was hidden in her chest. The guys around me whistled to her and she only smiled, teasing them as she passed around the bar and to the tables of the saloon.
I turned in my stool and watched her move around the saloon with smooth grace and pure beauty standing our from the rest. It was like a dream, an angel. She did not belong here, yet I was glad she did.
“Who’s the new wench, Book?” called a big guy sitting near me, looking willingly at the girl. “She’s cer’ainly a good pick,” he added, his eyes roaming every inch of her bodice.
“’Er name’s Brianna Prince,” Book said, leaning on the bar and looking at the girl, dirty rag hanging limply in his hand. “She applied for a job here yesterday, went into training, got good reports, and she got the job. She’s obviously a good addition.”
“More than you think,” the big guy said, almost drooling in his seat.
“Come now, Fred,” said another, a touch sarcastically, his eyes on Brianna Prince. “Don’ scare the new wench.”
“Oh, not at all,” he said and rose from his seat before I could stop him. I stood up from my stool to go after him, but Book grabbed my vest and pulled me back against the counter.
“C’mon, Coun’y!” he said, a touched amused. “Le’ Big Fred have ‘is fun! Let the wench get a taste of ‘er job.”
I did not free myself from Book’s grasp. I was too enwrapped in his statement. In my youth, Book was never so cruel. He would never see a girl go to any trouble as Brianna Prince would surely face. Now, however, Book was letting the big man do whatever he desired, possibly open a room upstairs just for them if it came down to it. I watched with fear, though I fought to keep it back.
Fred walked up behind Brianna Prince. I could not hear what they were saying, but he obviously gave her a fright for she jumped, spilling the mugs on the floor. I had never seen a woman in such a fright, staring up at Fred with horror-filled eyes. She stepped back as Fred tried to close up on her, trapping her against the wall. The whole saloon watched to see what the new wench would do.
I noticed the young girl was afraid and I acted. I released myself from Book, making my way towards them when the girl reached for a mug of beer and smashed it against Fred’s head, breaking the glass. I stopped as Fred howled with rage and backed off, running into men and tables, resulting in a fall to the ground, blood pouring from the cuts in his face.
The men laughed at Fred and the girl looked up to Book, calling, “I’ll pay for the mug!” The men roared again and she offered the nearby man a free mug of beer for the one she spilled and broke all over Fred. She stepped over Fred and walked past me around the bar. I resumed my seat, staring at her.
“Definitely a good addition!” the guys said to Book.
“There’s nothin’ to worry abou’, Coun’y!” they said. “This gal can handle ‘erself.” |
_________________ "I want to puke happiness all over you people..." –Suz on finishing Death Machine
"WWJD: What Would Jabber Do?" -- Jabber
"I solemnly swear that I can right no gooder then u." -- Jabber
Recruiting all WoWers! -- Join today!
Last edited by JabberHut on Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:00 am; edited 1 time in total |
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RatchetWriter
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 141 Reviews: 57 Country: USA - 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 8:11 pm Post subject: Great Work! |
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Oh my, sorry I haven't posted on your work.
I spotted some typos, but mainly I wanted to tell you that you really have a captivating story here. The plot is just so absorbing!
Typos
| Quote: |
| I also hefted a gun holster around my waste and leg, a revolver lying in its place, ready for me to swing out in an instant. |
waste I'm guessing you meant waist.
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| I made another shoe, purposefully missing them. |
Think you mean shot.
Er, I thought I saw more than that, oh well.
Anyway, I have a small suggestion. Maybe you shouldn't say Deputy Luke so much, just trim it to Luke. Just a suggestion.
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| I moved away when there was clearly no more conversing between the two on the subject. I stood and walked back to Deputy Luke’s desk, Deputy Luke following on my heels. I sat in Deputy Luke’s chair, propping my feet up on the desk. Deputy Luke was about to say something when Sheriff Locksley opened his door irritably. He looked from Deputy Luke then to me, his eyes widening. “County!” He reached for the handcuffs, approaching us. |
Lots of Deputy, it just seems to slow it down a little.
And so you know, I have never really read a western before, but I find your story really good.  |
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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1210 Reviews: 491 Country: Candyland 337 Points
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:15 am Post subject: |
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Oh good, at least I know the story wasn't abandoned or anything. Thanks for catching the gramatical errors. I'm really bad at that...here's chapter 5.
Chapter 5
I stayed in the saloon throughout the day and into the night when the singing girls were starred. Brianna Prince still served, not seeming to get a break. She seemed exhausted, however, and I felt dead sorry for the lady. She slumped over the counter as the customers watched and cheered and whistled the singing girl on stage. I leaned over toward Brianna Prince and said, “Need a break?”
She jumped as I spoke, but quickly regained her composure. She smiled and flushed a light shade of pink as she spilled a mug of beer that sat by her elbow. She bent down to pick it up. I came round and helped her.
“Thank you, Mr. County,” she said as she took the pieces from my hand and put them in the trash. “I apologize for my clumsiness. I can’t help it when the dishes walk on their own.”
I chuckled and she smiled, flushing. I asked her again, “Need a break? Want a beer?”
“Oh, no—”
“I’ll pay,” I said quickly and, without hearing her reply, I poured some beer in a couple mugs and led her to a seat at an empty table in the back. She only laughed and accepted the mug with her thanks.
“I suppose I could use a small break,” she said and took a small sip of the beer. “I do hope Book doesn’t see me, though.”
“If he does, he has me to answer to,” I said with a wink and took a drink. She smiled then looked down to her beer, or anywhere but at me.
“I’m Brianna Prince, but you can call me Brie,” she said, her finger tracing invisible patterns on the wooden table. “I’m new to town and took this job.” Her eyes flickered up to me then back down, seeming to refuse to look at me when I was looking at her.
“Is there no other job?” I asked, taking another swig of beer. “This is a rough place for a pretty lady as yourself.”
She smiled and flushed, still ignoring my gaze. “It’s good pay,” she said simply. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself.”
“Obviously,” I said, recalling the beating Fred took earlier that day.
“I saw you start toward us,” she said, her eyes, again, flickering to me then back down. “You were thinking of saving the day again, weren’t you?”
I didn’t reply right away, but when I did, it was slow and careful. “It was out of respect.”
“Respect?” she repeated and I knew why. No man around here had so much respect except Deputy Luke yet he was very nervous about his job and of new people.
“I’m a man of respect,” I said. “I do what I think is right. It is never out of greed.”
Her eyes flickered once again. My lips tightened, wondering why she did that. Was I that ugly? I gently took her small chin in my hands and lifted her face. Her head obeyed my will, but her eyes were either closed or looking down at the table. “Why won’t you look at me?” I asked gently, hoping I wasn’t hurting her feelings in any way.
She didn’t answer. She stiffened and said, “I must be going. I’m being called for some refills.” She withdrew from my hold and left to serve, leaving me wondering about her behavior.
The next day, my thoughts of Brie returned as word spread of a fight in the local saloon. I hurried down the road and into the saloon where all the commotion was, but I dodged in time as one of them flew out the doors and onto the stairs with a crash that would surely leave a mark. I was about to enter when Brie came flying from the door as if pushed out of the way. I caught her by the arms.
“Are you alright?” I asked. Brie looked up to me and nodded, looking fearfully at the fight in the saloon. I put her aside and, again, was about to enter when Brie took my arm and looked at me.
“You must fetch a horse!” she said quickly, her words moving so fast I had to concentrate on every word she said to get her meaning. “It’s Booker Davis! He’s gone mad! He’s fighting every man in there searching for you—Rudy County! Go! Run! I can hold him off for you! I—”
“Brie!” I yelled, holding her arms since she shook violently, her eyes filled with fear. “Take it easy! I can handle him—”
“He—” she started, but caught herself and nodded. “Yes, Mr. County,” she said in a small voice.
With one look, I turned from her and to the saloon, but hardly got a sight when my name was called by that familiar voice. “Rudy Coun’y!” I heard the gun load and ready itself and I froze, not wanting him to shoot. I watched as Book appeared from the shadows of the saloon, his gun held up at my face, his face contorted with rage.
“Book,” I said, but I could not say much more for he threatened to shoot me again.
“I know who ya’re,” he said, his voice hoarse and menacing. “Ya can’ hide any longer! I won’ kill ya now! My master would like the honor of doing jus’ tha’. Bu’ I warn ya, Coun’y: one false step and you’ll be blown to smithereens!”
He slowly stepped down the stairs, gun still pointing at me. He walked over for the nearby chestnut mare and saddled up, his gun’s point not lifting from me. Then he took off in a flash. I breathed again, but watched him leave and wondered how he knew it was me and why he almost killed me.
“Mr. Coun’y, sir!” I turned to see Deputy Luke jogging down the streets toward the saloon and the commotion within. He breathed hard, his hat askew. “Wha’s goin’ on?’
I turned to face Deputy Luke, Brie stood at the corner of my eye. “Book, the bartender, ran out here as if his mother-in-law came to visit. I don’t think he’s coming back anytime soon.”
“You mean he just…left?” Deputy Luke said, scratching his head. “He was always a good sport.”
“Not to me,” I said with a sigh, memories of our friendship returning to my head—a friendship with Bradley Locksley, of course. “He threatened to kill me, or rather threatened Boston Shoemaker would kill me.”
“Ah, another one on the Wan’ed List,” Deputy Luke said. With a tip of his hat to Brie, he said, “I’ll be off to post that on the board a’ the office.”
He left, but I did not follow, nor did I enter the saloon. I stared down the road, wondering if I should go after Book. Brie made up my mind as she asked innocently, “Are you going to go after him, Mr. County?”
I turned to face the shy, yet beautiful Brianna Prince and smiled reassuringly. “No, not yet,” I answered as she quickly looked away. “Unless, of course, you want me to—”
“Oh, no!” she said hurriedly, her eyes flicking up to me then to the saloon. “I was just curious as to why he…disliked you so. Who is Boston Shoemaker?”
I smiled and took her arm gently, saying, “Let’s discuss that over a beer.”
She gave a small smile and let me lead her into the saloon.
It has been a few days since Book ran out the saloon and out of town. He never returned, leaving the saloon in the hands of Brie and other serving wenches. The city of Ranger was quiet, not much action taking place. It was honestly boring.
I did nothing the past few days, just hanging around the saloon and keeping Brie company on her work days or nights. Sheriff Locksley even laid low, or seemed to. He was, no doubt, doing Abigail’s dirty work, or giving it. Probably both since either of their office lights were on at nights.
“Brie, are you always working here?” I asked as I sat at the bar to myself as Brie washed some mugs. Now that Book was gone, she worked behind the counter more while other women served the men.
Brie ignored my face as usual, watching her work. She smiled and giggled at my question. “No, I do have a life, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Well, I seem to only see you behind the bar,” I said, “and lately it’s been everyday.”
“Oh, I’m around when you don’t know it,” she said, looking at me with a teasing smile. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,” I said as she returned to her washing with an amused smile on her face. My heart beat faster as she laughed, her beauty standing out once again. How I wanted to hold her, to claim her as my own.
“Hey, Mr. Coun’y!”
I disappointedly awoke from my day dream as Deputy Luke walked into the saloon and seated next to me. His eyes were drawn to Brie immediately, but he still talked to me. I noticed he held a newspaper in hand and held it out for me to see. We only got a newspaper on Sundays because our city was so small.
“Take a look ‘ere, Mr. Coun’y,” he said.
“Call me Rudy, please,” I said, sick of the formal title I didn’t fully deserve from a childhood friend, though Deputy Luke did not know my old identity. I took the paper and looked around the page that may spark my interest, but I couldn’t miss it for it was a long one smack-dab at the top.
Shamrock Bank Robbed of Emeralds!
On Monday 20 in the late evening, the Shamrock Bank was robbed of its jewels. The emeralds of which were entrusted to them by the mayor of Shamrock,
Dave Callaway, were stolen around midnight of that night. “I don’t know who in their right mind would steal from a top bank in the state, but they’re gonna pay!” said Mayor Dave Callaway.
Among the small emeralds stolen was a pure diamond the size of the average man’s fist. “It was an honor to have been chosen to protect this,” Callaway said. “We have for two years, and now it’s gone.” On Friday 31, the diamond was to be transported to Washington D.C. under stronger protection. If these jewels are found, please contact your local police and place your name so you may be rewarded well.
“The Shamrock Bank? Robbed?” I said with disbelief.
“I know!” Deputy Luke said. “I never knew it could happen! No one ever did it! I guess no one ever tried, but now it’s been done.”
“Let me see,” Brie said and I handed her the newspaper.
“The trickiest person I know is Boston Shoemaker,” Deputy Luke said.
“No, the trickiest person we know is the King,” I said. Brie looked up at the mention of the name.
“The King? I thought he was dead,” she said.
“I never said he was alive,” I said gravely, “nor did I say he could have robbed the bank. I’m just saying he’s the trickiest person we know. However, we can’t just assume that Shoemaker robbed the bank. It can easily be someone else. I’ll keep my eye out for the jewels, though. Sounds like a big bounty one would be willing to hunt for.”
“I’d be careful, Mr. Cou—I mean, Rudy,” Deputy Luke said. “Shoemaker is not easy ta catch. An’ we have no place ta start to catch the thief. How d’you think you’ll find ‘em?”
“I have an idea,” I said and leaned forward so only Deputy Luke and Brie could hear what I had in mind for I was sure I would find the thief and gain his profile, if not himself. |
_________________ "I want to puke happiness all over you people..." –Suz on finishing Death Machine
"WWJD: What Would Jabber Do?" -- Jabber
"I solemnly swear that I can right no gooder then u." -- Jabber
Recruiting all WoWers! -- Join today! |
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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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Here's some more. chapter 6.
Chapter 6
The next day, we put my plan into action. Brie couldn’t help because of her wanted help at the saloon, so it was up to Deputy Luke and me, which was fine. I didn’t think Brie would want to do such work anyway.
Yesterday I went to the local jeweler. He was no expert and was never good at business, selling much cheaper stuff to keep his store going until one needed a wedding ring or engagement gift. I asked to borrow the finest jewel he had and that I would return it the next day. I had to pay a fee to borrow it, but at least it was no where near the buying price of the gem.
I took the crystal to the blacksmith down the street and asked for some kind of duplicate. He said it was possible, but I had to pay a fee. I knew I had to, but I didn’t realize I had to for the gem. Half my money was gone and, thank the one God, Deputy Luke came by to assist me and paid what I was missing.
Today I picked up the fake and the real gems. I easily could tell them apart. The fake crystal had one flaw: it was made of painted glass with weights inside to match the gem. I returned the real gem to the jewel and we continued with the plan.
I entered the mayor’s building and knocked on Abigail Clark’s door. If this gem fooled Abigail, it would surely catch the thief. Besides, I could only get permission from Abigail to put it in the bank.
The door opened by Abigail and I was surprised she was alone. She smiled as she saw me and invited me in. I carried the gem in a pouch, not wanting to attract attention. Abigail saw it, however, and was all for the business.
“What do you have, Rudy County?” she asked, sitting in her high backed chair and looking up at me with admiring eyes.
I opened the bag and pulled out the gem. Her eyes fell on the crystal and she instantly became eager to hear my request. I told her I wanted it in the bank to be protected since I read about that thief and didn’t trust myself to keep it safe. She took the crystal and checked it for any flaws. I waited with bated breath.
She turned it in her hands, knocked it a few times, ran her thin fingers over its glassy surface. Her thin brow furrowed and I was afraid Abigail found out the truth when she looked up at me with bright eyes. “I’m more than willing to help you, Mr. County,” she said. “I’ll be sure to put it in the vault where no one will take it.”
“Thank you, Ms. Clark,” I said with a tip of my hat. “I knew I could trust you.”
She smiled as I turned to leave then called after me, “If I catch you in my office again, I’m calling the Sheriff.”
I turned, smirking and her smile faded. “You wouldn’t call him,” I said and left without Abigail even trying to reply.
That night, I checked that the jewel was safe in the bank. The banker led me to the vault so I could see with my own eyes the glass gem sitting among the gold coins and dollar bills. Satisfied, I went to the saloon and sat by the window to hear for any sudden voices for the bank was just down the street.
Brie was not there that night. I asked one of the women where she was. They only said that she asked for a break. She claimed she needed sleep from the continuous work she had to do this past week. I understood for, no matter how cheerful and talkative she was, I knew she must have been tired since Book disappeared.
No thief came that night and the next day, Deputy Luke walked the streets, mainly around the bank, doing his usual patrol around town. I sat in the saloon once again, but Brie was back with a much more happier sound to her voice and a buoyant step. She gave me a beer on the house after serving the other men and sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here last night,” she said, setting her tray on the table and looking out the window. “I was completely exhausted. With Book gone, the women need as much hands as they can get with all these hungry men.”
I smiled and patted her hand. “It’s alright. I was getting quite worried about you anyway. Putting the new girl on a strict schedule is a bit harsh. I’m glad you got some sleep. Besides, nothing happened last night. We’ll be waiting again tonight. I didn’t expect the thief to come anyway. Who in their right mind would come to Ranger for a good money-worthy gem?”
“That’s why I’m sorry,” she said. “You sat here alone all night.”
“Oh, no, I had the hungry men to accompany me as we watched the performers,” I said, taking a drink of beer. She did not laugh, but made a weak smile. I sighed and said, “It’s fine. As long as you’re alright, I’m alright. Now, are you going to be around tonight?”
“Sure thing,” she replied. “I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep on the job, now would I?” she teased.
I chuckled, “No, I suppose not.” I took another drink.
“Hey, wench! Gimme ‘nother beer!”
“Comin’!” she called and left the table. My eyes followed her around the saloon as she refilled mugs and served the new customers. My, what an addition to the saloon!
I sat in silence for long moments, my mind mostly on Brie, my eyes on the bank. My thoughts were always on the girl, her brown curls, her smooth curves, her locket that lay low in her chest and out of sight. I longed for her, yet my instincts kept me back, paying as much respect as I could. It must be that bloodline of Sheriffs in me.
That night was another failure, but it was an amusing night with Brie. She sat with me when she was not needed, drinking a beer herself and we would talk. By midnight, she was nearly drunk and I insisted she go to bed. Women were more vulnerable to the alcohol.
“No! I gotta work!” she said, laughing hysterically. “I’ll be back later—hic!—No worries! Hic!”
“Brie, I think it’s time for you to go home,” I said, laughing at the sight.
“Are you gonna walk me home, then?” she said teasingly and laughed again at another hiccup.
The night was long, yet enjoyable. I didn’t leave her alone the next day. She flushed of embarrassment every time I brought it up then gave an excuse to leave the table.
“Okay, so it was one too many drinks!” Brie said exasperatedly. “I’m sorry, I never got out of hand. It won’t happen again.”
I laughed. “It surely passed the night by! The thief didn’t come again. I suppose I’ll have to be here tonight again. Will you be here?”
She thought it over for a moment. I was almost sure she would say yes. Her eyes avoided mine as she thought. It irritated me for I didn’t even know the color of her eyes. Every time I wondered what the color was, she was looking away or her eyes were flicking to me then at something else so I didn’t see.
“I’m afraid not,” she said finally and my brow furrowed. She winced at my confused look and said, “They’re starting to give me a break. I might as well use it to my advantage.”
I couldn’t argue with that, especially when said by Brie, so I nodded and shrugged it off.
It was another lonely night in the saloon, the third night of my plan. It was proving to be a failure when I saw movement by the side of the bank and voices later inside the building. I left the saloon unnoticed and, drawing my gun, quietly made my way to the bank. I crouched by a window and looked inside.
The two bankers stood aside fearfully, their hands up, their eyes looking at one spot—the vault. There was a figure crouched by the lit vault and another arrived from inside. I couldn’t make out who it was or what he looked like, but I did know that this was the thief for he inspected it as if he knew what he was looking for in a jewel.
I thought twice about running in and pointing my gun at them. Instead, I ran to the stables stealthily and took a black horse with me. I sat on the saddle, waiting for them, and watched them run to the back of the bank where stood two horses. They saddled and started riding past me. When they saw me, my gun in hand, I felt their fear, heard their gasps, and they took off in a flash. I started after them, my gun at the ready.
They ran fast, but I ran as fast as they. I was afraid to shoot for it would wake the citizens of Ranger, and also was afraid I would kill one of them. I didn’t feel like getting arrested for killing, even if the victim was a thief. Plus, it was one of my beliefs—no one deserved to die unless they deserved it.
They started riding off road now and I followed, though a bit reluctantly. I knew this place like the back of my hand, but I could easily lose these guys in the trees. I kept running until a horse and rider appeared in my way and I was forced to stop. I backed up a bit to see who it was yet keep my distance.
“Hello, County,” said a smooth, calm voice. “Nice to have you drop by.”
“Shoemaker,” I muttered as he stepped into the clearing I stood in, the moonlight pouring down on the cowboy dressed in black. “I should’ve known.”
“Known that I would steal the jewel? Probably not,” he hissed lightly. “All you knew about me was that I was a good bounty hunter gone mad. It could have lasted a day or a year or a century. However, I’m not mad and I never was. I only came to my senses. Now here I am, making a downright good living. I’m rich, County, and you can’t do anything about it.”
“Watch me,” I sneered, lifting my gun.
“You won’t shoot,” he chuckled, his eyes falling on my gun amusingly.
“Why not?”
“I have reason,” he said and his head turned to his right. I looked to see a man thrown onto the ground motionless by another man. I gulped as I recognized the familiar build of my childhood, thrown carelessly by my old childhood friend, Booker Davis who grinned maliciously.
I growled. “What happened to you?” I demanded, my hand holding the rifle starting to shake.
“I came to my senses,” he replied and an alien cold tone. “You were in my way to becoming great. I could have become more than a bartender if you weren’t skirting about as a good little sheriff.”
“I’m not sheriff,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Of course, not yet,” Book said.
“You see, County,” Shoemaker said in his soft cold voice, “you, unlike your father, are strong-willed. You do not sway like your father has. That’s why you’re in my way, County. You’re too good, better than your father. That’s why you must be destroyed.”
At these words, Book lifted a gun and pointed at me. I tensed at the sight and wondered of dropping my gun at his command. I hesitated a long while, then dropped it. Shoemaker smirked. “It don’t matter, County. Book, kill—”
Bang!
Book yelled in agony, dropping his gun and falling against a tree, clutching his leg. Shoemaker looked at him in disgust then grabbed the gun when there was another gunshot and he was forced to run. Book crawled away as fast as he could after Shoemaker, not wanting to fall victim to whoever was shooting. I looked around hurriedly, wondering who it was.
There was no more shooting and Book and Shoemaker were both gone. I was alone with the horse, the gun, and the dead Sheriff Locksley. I stared at the body, pitied the man, and decided on burying him, for he deserved, at most, a proper burial. I made it quick and easy then left for Ranger, no glass gem in hand.
My thoughts wandered to the shooting, though. I was saved once again by that mysterious sharpshooter. Boston and Shoemaker got away once again, but so did the shooter and I was most irritated with the latter. How I wished to know who he was, but my mind had to stay focused.
I would report what I learned to Deputy Luke and Brie, if she was around and willing to hear. Book, or Davis I would start calling him, and Shoemaker worked together and would, no doubt, get out word that I was Bradley Locksley just to make my life difficult. I waited for that day.
How would I explain to Abigail? I dreaded that moment for surely the whore would start coming after me now that the Sheriff was gone.
The Sheriff was gone. It pained my inside, but I didn’t cry. I’m not too close to him any longer. Heck, I changed my name! But, I still felt an emptiness inside me. A part of me was gone. The Sheriff, I once called father, was dead. |
_________________ "I want to puke happiness all over you people..." –Suz on finishing Death Machine
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JabberHut
the Queen of Moss! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1210 Reviews: 491 Country: Candyland 337 Points
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 7
I explained to Deputy Luke and Brie what happened last night. They both listened intently. Deputy Luke gasped and watched me fearfully as I recalled the events. Brie totally stopped working, her rag hanging limply in her hand as she listened. I didn’t, however, tell them the Sheriff was my dad. I only said how the Sheriff was murdered by Boston Shoemaker.
“Did you tell Ms. Clark yet?” Brie asked in an undertone. She, like many others, knew of the affairs between the two and she, like me, was completely disgusted.
“I did,” I admitted and told them what happened. Abigail broke into tears that night at the sight of the body and thanked me deeply for telling her first thing. It was not much of a scene worth of importance, as I saw it.
“So they took the gem,” I said finally, “but I don’t know where they took it. I was caught. I should have snuck after them, but they spotted me easily.”
“So your timing was a little off,” Brie said indifferently. “Big deal! I’m sure you guys can track them down.”
“How?” I said. “We don’t know where they are!”
“They’re after you, aren’t they?” Brie said, her voice sharp. “Why are you thinking so pessimistically? It’s done! Time to move on!”
I sighed. Brie was right, I knew, but I couldn’t let myself to grab the concept. I was caught and I nearly died, until that mysterious shooter came along and saved my life.
“Wait,” I said, lifting my head from my hand, “that shooter…maybe he followed them!”
Brie looked up from her washing, her brow furrowed. “Do you really think they’ll show themselves after hiding for so long?”
“It’s worth a shot,” I said. Deputy Luke only listened to the conversation.
“How are you going to find him?” Brie asked, returning to her washing.
“I have a plan,” I suddenly said and was about to say when the guys at the tables called for Brie and another mug or two of beer.
“I’m comin’!” She called and went to fill the beers, leaving me to converse with Deputy Luke only. I told him of the plan and he seemed easy going, agreeing it may work if my last plan did.
I only shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”
My plan did not need so much preparation so it went off immediately afternoon. It was going to take a bit of trust between the people involved, but it should prove well. Of course, I was a little iffy on asking Big Fred to help out after what happened between him and Brie, but he accepted, as did Joey Thinner, one of the regular guys at the saloon.
Deputy Luke was also involved, as was I. It would be interesting to see how this turned out for I didn’t know how well Big Fred and Joey Thinner would follow the plan. We were supposed to fake a robbery, they disguising as men of Boston Shoemaker.
They were pretty well, maybe too well. Big Fred and Joey held up their guns at me, claiming to be sent by Boston Shoemaker to kill me. I stared at them with wide eyes as if of surprise when Deputy Luke arrived, shooting his gun in the air as a warning to the two ‘crooks’.
This was when I grabbed a horse and took off down the road. Joey Thinner hopped on another and followed. Big Fred pushed the deputy aside then scurried onto a horse and took the rear.
Their gunshots kept missing me which proved they were trustworthy enough. I ran off the path, hoping to ‘lose them’ when my horse came to a sudden halt, almost flinging me off its back. I held on to my hat as I hopped up and down from the saddle then looked up to see what was happening. I yelped with surprise and horror at the sight.
I was surrounded, or we as Big Fred and Joey Thinner arrived, by a gang of cowboys. Amongst them was Booker Davis, grinning maliciously. For a split second I showed my fear in every inch of my face, but then my brow furrowed as my eyes fell on Davis.
“Playin’ cowboys, boys?” Davis asked sending soft chuckles around the group. “I’m afraid we gotta break it up. Mr. Shoemaker wants ta see ya, Coun’y.”
There was a gunshot from behind me. One of the two guys shot, sending the group in retaliation. Davis was furious at the group’s lack of maturity. I took my moment and turned and ran, the horse running faster than when we were acting.
I looked behind me and saw Big Fred and Joey Thinner following me, their guns in their hands, shooting wildly at the gang of cowboys running after us. I didn’t want to send these guys into Ranger, but I had no other way and it was too late when I thought about it. There were screams and scurrying people seeking shelter.
I pulled my horse back as another batch of guys arrived at the other end of the road. They split up, a total round of ten guys I guessed. I hopped off my horse, knowing full well it would do nothing now. The other two followed my lead a bit hesitantly, their guns in their hands. I watched everyone of the gang stop and wait then turned my eyes on Davis as he hopped of his horse and walked a ways toward us.
“You might as well come quie’ly, Coun’y,” Davis said, his hands on his hips. “I don’ wanna shoot ya.”
When he said that, I remembered Davis getting shot in the leg. My eyes fell on his thigh which looked bigger than his other probably because of bandages. “Yes,” Davis started, seeing my gaze, “it was bad, but I lived.”
“I’m glad,” I said, my eyes looking up at him as I did when we were kids. Davis was a bit taken aback but resumed his new character, the bad guy. He was always good at that when we played cowboys.
“C’mon, Coun’y—What the—”
A gunshot sounded not too far away, but no one shot the shot. Everyone looked around, hoping to catch sight of the mysterious shooter they all heard about, heard of, but never seen. I saw him, though. He stood atop the saloon roof, his arm held up, his gun pointing at the sky when he shot. I could not see his face, but I knew who he was when I saw him: the King.
My heart raced at the sight and I was overly excited. Book was shocked to see the man and started backing off. “Men, we better get,” he said and turned around as if to leave, but one of his men shot at us, hitting Big Fred. He yelped and clutched his side, turning at the instant, but the King beat him, shooting the shooter with quick succession in the shooter’s leg.
Chaos broke loose as the gang charged at us three or shooting arbitrarily at the King, hoping for hope they shot him. The King, however, stood completely still and unafraid, his gun held up at them still. He did not shoot, though, and I knew why: he wouldn’t want to shoot me, Joey Thinner, or Big Fred.
I punched one, kicked another, bit a hand, dug the butt of my gun into another’s stomach. They all were afraid of getting beat by me and decided on running. Joey Thinner, who still held his gun, shot at them as they ran. A few remained, however, among them was Booker Davis. My back was turned to him and, in one instant, I drew my gun and turned toward him. He held his gun up at the same second and we stared at each other, he scowling, I coolly.
We stared long and quiet, no one daring to move. Even the other guys watched, wondering what would happen. I saw Davis’ hand start to shake, his head dripping with sweat, his eyes smaller with anger and stress. My face was only beaded with sweat, my hand as steady as the King was standing, my expression not changing.
“Yer finished, Coun’y!” he shrieked and there was a gunshot, but it was not from Davis or I. All eyes turned to the gang or the two guys behind me, but my eyes went to the King who now stood on the side of the road, his black hat pulled low over his eyes. He had a slender build, wore black gear—black pants, black boots, black jacket buttoned up the front. His gun was held up toward them, Davis falling to the ground motionless.
I saw the King’s hand was steady, but his shoulders tensed. I knew he regretted that shot. He would never kill a man, but he would wound him.
“Get outta here or I’ll pound ya!” Deputy Luke called, shooting his gun. The gang scrambled on horses and ran as fast as they could. Big Fred and Joey Thinner watched them leave then returned to the saloon, expecting me to follow, but I didn’t. I stood watching the King who still didn’t move an inch.
“King?” I asked, a bit unsure of what to call him. I took one step toward him and the King took off at a run. I was not going to look like a coward so I ran after him down the street and around the corner.
He was fast, really fast, but I caught up just fine. I was kind of pushing it, but I still had my eye on him. I eventually took a shortcut through an ally—it was a chance worth taking—and found myself running into King and falling to the ground on top of him, rolling about the ground until he was on top of me.
The King hurried off of me, but I opened my eyes to see just in time. I grabbed his arm and the King froz | |