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Night Mistress
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 Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 3:18 pm Post subject: Help me! |
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| i need help people, so help me. if you haven't read my story in Romantic fiction, go read it, then tell me what i need to improving on. |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
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miyaviloves
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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I think you need to develop your characters more and give us a bit more of the story without just telling us, show us how things happened, it would make it all the more interesting for the reader.
At the moment I think your characters are a bit of a blank slate, you need to build them up, make them more real, descirbe them mre, just bring the reader back into the story, it helps and it makes it all the more enjoyable to read.
Good luck!
Meevs
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Lady Pirate
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, you should develop you characters. I want to know who she was marrying and why it was important. I want to feel the knights tormoil over what he's doing, because he's probably doing something wrong.
Get us to care about the characters.
for the POV thing... if you like to switch, like me, beucase I do, go into a thrid person, and when you want to switch to leave a gap.
Slow down at the beginning, and show us. 
I really like the whole Knight Maiden thing, but then again, you know I'm always a sucker for that type of thing! 
I think this could be a REALLY good story if you just slow donw (And I havet his problem too, of going to fast and wanting to jump right into the action), and let us, the readers, discover Knight and Maiden for ourselves. |
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Suzanne
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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I've PMed you my advice  I'll keep Pming you my thoughts too, because I have a lot to say. Not that I have a lot wrong, I just have a lot of advice...
Either way, know that you will improve, and the advice given above is good as well  |
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Jules the jester
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| Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 8:12 pm Post subject: |
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Listen to Meevs She is brilliant when it comes to Developing your characters. I took her advice on writing a part just about my character and it Developed him by miles.
Anyway that is enough Hero worship. Have alot of connection with your charcters, Write down a huge list of all there good attributes and all there bad ones. It helps you connect with them a bit more. |
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Night Mistress
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| Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 12:01 am Post subject: |
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| Anyone esle want to give advice? |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
Adam Hart of Poison Love. |
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Night Mistress
a creature of the night
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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I am thinking about changing the title to my story. I mean the old title is still good, but since i'm starting fresh on the story, i thought i would give it a new title. But i can't seem to think of any, so can someone help me?
any ideas? i'm all ears. |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
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Snoink
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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Or we can give you advice on your own story? 
*Moved to Writer's Corner* |
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Last edited by Snoink on Wed May 30, 2007 11:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Night Mistress
a creature of the night
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Yep. that's what this thread is here for. |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
Adam Hart of Poison Love. |
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Night Mistress
a creature of the night
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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| so any ideas on that new title? |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
Adam Hart of Poison Love. |
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Night Mistress
a creature of the night
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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| just forget about help me. it will do me no good any ways. thank you for everyone who was trying to help me. |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
Adam Hart of Poison Love. |
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TL G-Wooster
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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Which ways do you want help? On what? On which? And change your signature! It's probally not true for starters, and it puts people off reading this not-good story of your's.
-Twit |
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Night Mistress
a creature of the night
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576 Points
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't know. what you think i need help on? |
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"your lips are like poison...one taste and it sweep into me, making me want you more and more..."
Adam Hart of Poison Love. |
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