Oracle Trouble
I jumped the bushes to the mansion's front lawn, the ninjas still on my tail. With my pen and paper in hand, I scribbled furiously as I hid behind a large tree.
"Ninjas...run...very...fast," I said to myself as I wrote it down. Then a large ninja star suddenly whizzed past my head and stuck to the wall of the mansion gates in front of me.
When do these guys give up? All I wanted was an interview!
Then, like shadows, all five of them appeared around me in a semicircle, swords drawn. I smiled nervously, holding up my pad of paper. "Look, if you guys were sworn to silence, you could have just told me! I don't need to interview you if you feel that strongly about it." The ninjas considered this for a second, and then shrugged. In a flash they were gone, leaving me standing in front of the mansion gates. "On to my next story," I muttered and walked up to the gates, which began opening without me having to be buzzed in.
I walked through the front lawn leading up to the door, which was filled with all sorts of strange plants and bush formations, and I fathomed that the Oracle had a lot of free time on her hands to put together such a wierd garden. Finally I reached the door, and pressed the small button near the knob. There was a loud ringing, and then the door opened all by itself.
"Come in, my darling," came an ominous voice from inside. I walked in a few steps and noticed it was dark.
"Why aren't the lights on?" I asked.
"It's called dramatic effect," said the Oracle, flipping the switch. The room suddenly filled with bright lights, and I was shocked by the ornate design of the mansion.
"Nice place," I said, walking over to the Oracle, who was seated in a large, red cushioned chair. She gestured for me to sit in the chair opposite her, which wasn't nearly as nice.
"What have you come to ask me, Brandon?" she said, adjusting the large turban that was wrapped around her head.
"Well, you already know I'm the town's official reporter, and I was wondering if I could ask your advice on the aliens that recently landed on the outskirts of town." I said, gesturing with my pencil, "I was thinking of going to meet them and then writing a story on it."
The Oracle closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, making a low humming noise the entire time. After a few seconds her eyes shot open as wide as they could, and her voice sent a shiver down my spine.
"No, going there will mean your utter demise," she said slowly, with every once of creepiness she had insider her. I was about to ask her why when she suddenly started shouting. "DEMISE! DEMISE!" she exclaimed over and over again, rocking back and forth in her chair. She kept getting louder and louder, and started to get out of control.
"OK, I get it!" I screamed over her.
"DEMISE! DEMISE!" she shrieked, the sides of her mouth starting to foam. I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and swiftly struck her upside the head. Then I sat back down, shaking my hand.
The Oracle stopped rocking and screaming. She just closed her eyes again and did the temple rubbing thing.
"Like I was saying, It's probably not a good idea," she said, while rubbing her temples. I gave a large sigh and crossed out the item written on my paper that read "visit space aliens".
"Well, thanks for your time, Oracle. I'm sure your very busy and I'll get outta your hair now," I said, getting up out of my seat.
"Oh please, darling, you know I've just been sitting here for the past five hours," said the Oracle, still rubbing her temples.
"Well, duh, but I didn't want to be rude about it."
"Thank you."
I then proceeded to walk back toward the door, and gave the Oracle a little wave goodbye. She waved back, but then put her hand up.
"Wait, don't forget about the demise thing," she said.
"I won't," I replied, rolling my eyes.
Walking back outside, I marveled at how beautiful the day was today, with the sun shining so brightly. But then something caught my eye. I thought I saw the bushes rustle. I froze. Someone was following me.
"Hey, get outta the bushes!" I yelled.
"Aw, man," I heard someone say. Then the figure walked out of the bushes. It turned out to be some mouse dressed in a black robe. He was also carrying something, I wasn't sure what. It kinda looked like a key, but also like a blade at the same time. Wierd.
He walked up to where I was standing and pointed the key thing at me.
"Brandon, you must help me fight the forces of evil," he said heroically. I sighed and began rubbing my temples like the Oracle.
"Look, this isn't Kingdom Hearts, so can you and your key stick please get outta my way?" I said, trying not to sound too mean. "I've got an interview with Zelda, in like, five minutes, and I don't have time for this."
***
(To Be Continued)
NEXT TIME: An interview with a Princess.
