Topic ID: 1234
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Emma
the wee dafty
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 Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 7:59 pm Post subject: Scary Mary (13+, apart from Sam cos she don't undertand 13+) |
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Characters
Ronald:
MSN Name: RonaldTheDuck
Description: He has black hair and it is long. He can be funny when he is in a good mood.
Sarah:
MSN Name: xSarahx
Description: She has long blond hair and blue eyes. She can be very shy and doesn't talk
Alot.
Rachel:
MSN Name: Stupid_Blinkers
Description: Is a punk rocker, doesn't like Sarah because she doesn't talk. But is well liked.
Jack:
MSN Name: Jack and the bean stalk
Description: Cute and funny, he is well liked by sarah, though Rachel isn't sure on him.
Setting:
It is in scotland in a little village by the sea. Its quiet and not much things go on, but now there is stange views coming from a house near the school. Noises are being heard through classroom walls.
Scene One:
Rachel and Ronald are talking, while walking home from school. They stop and chat at the weird house
Rachel: What you doing at the weekend Ronald?
Ronald: I don't really know, something might come up.
Rachel: Right... Like waching your mum do crap things?
Ronald: She isn't as bad as you! Fucking smoking at five.
Jack comes over, he has a big bag slung over is shoulder and is panting with effort to try and keep it up.
Jack:Whats going on here?
Rachel: (Cough) Who else? Look in front of you, a idoit has been born.
Ronald: I'm not done with you Rachel!
Rachel: Slow couch, keep with the time.
Jack: I asked what was going on...
Rachel: I just told you!
Jack: Looks at the house I have never seen you so, well... Moody. It might be the
the house, maybe thats why you're fighting.
Ronald: Who told you that rubbish?
Jack: I...Well... I'm away.
Jack leaves, his small steps become larger as he runs away. Rachel laughs and gets up. She then leaves, still laughing.
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Scene Two, MSN Chat
People can hear through a speaker, they are saying what the MSN chat is being said.
Talking: Jack and the bean stalk, xSarahx.
Jack and the bean stalk
I just like cant beleive rachel and ronald i have never seen them fight.
xSarahx
I haven't either. I think it is because they are annoyed about something.
Jack and the bean stalk
oh yer... and what can THAT be?
xSarahx
You aren't liking the fact that they are fighting.
Jack and the bean stalk
Clap, clap! I actully fink it is the house.
xSarahx
why?
Jack and the bean stalk
because what are those wierd noises? they have to be from there. Im going tonight, you better come i aint going on my own.
xSarahx
Oh, I don't know.
Jack and the bean stalk
you have to sarah, unless your chicken!
xSarahx
I am not! I will come then.
Jack and the bean stalk
Ill see u there.
Jack Has Left The Convo....
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Scene Three
It is dark. Sarah and Jack are by the wierd house, looking up the path way, they start to talk as they walk up, unsure what is in store.
Sarah: I'm not too sure on this. I wan't to go home.
Jack: What?! No way. Come on, it can't be that scary. It's just a house.
Sarah: I know. Though it is scaring me, it's locked shutters and everything.
Jack: Please, just try.
Sarah: Right. I will.
Jack bashes the old door with a small hammer which was in his bag. The door breakes easliy and they are in - in seconds.
Sarah: Okay, I'm scared.
Jack: I think I am too. It's so dark.
Sarah: Hello?! Shouts, it echoes
Jack: Why did you do that? Fuck's sake. I'm bloody scared now!
Something lingers in the shadow. I dusty chair starts rocking up and down, it's creaking echoes the room. Fear builds up in the two children. They turn to the creaking chair. There is a ghost girl, she is looking at the ground.
Sarah: Wh-a-a-a-t-t on e-ear-t-th?!
Jack: (Scared) Lady, are-are you a-l-l-right?
The ghost girl looks up, her skin pulled away from her face structure like jelly. She suddenly screams, it's sharp. One of the near by windows crack.
Sarah: Help me lord!
Jack: grips onto the hammer Don't touch us!
Sarah: What are you doing?
Jack: I'll kill y...
Sarah: Jack, she's alread (gulps) Dead.
Jack: Oh, well then. We are stuck. There is only one thing for it....
Sarah: ....Run?!
Jack: Yes!
The ghost girl lifts up her white, icy arm, she stops screaming and looks straight into the children's eyes.
Ghost: Her voice is echoey Don't leave me...
Sarah: I think she said something!
Ghost: Stay.....
Jack: Not over my bloody dead body!
Sarah: Jack! No, what are you doing?
Jack: Leaving this dead bitch to die.
Ghost: I know your names....
Sarah: N-n-o-o. Leave us alone.
Jack: What is it then? Erh?
Ghost: Jack of course. Your friend Sarah has mentioned it planty of times....
Sarah: Are you the reason for the stange noises and - and movement?
The ghost girl turns away and then drifts out of the chair and to the windows, where a shutter has been left open.
Ghost: Yes...
Sarah: Why are you here?
The ghost girl turns
Ghost: To kill someone....
Jack: Wh-h-h-h-h-o?
Ghost: I'm not aloud to tell....
Sarah: Why must you do such a thing?!
Ghost: For she killed me.
Jack: She?
Sarah: Do we know her?
Ghost: I saw her out the window....
Jack: With me?
Ghost: Yes.
Jack: No, it can't be...
Sarah: I think it is... I think it's Rachel.
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Scene Four
It's the next morning and Rachel, Ronald and Sarah are outside the building once again. Sarah is still uneasy about last night and is keeping her distance from Rachel.
Rachel: What the fuck are you doing Sarah?
Sarah: Oh, erm.. Nothing, why?
Rachel: Well... for starters you are sliding away from me but stare at me too. Quit it.
Sarah: Oh yes, sorry Rachel.
Ronald: Yer, stop acting weird.
Sarah: Have you two made friends?
Ronald: I don't really...
Rachel: Have we fuck!
Ronald: Well I'm sorry.
Rachel: You better be!
Sarah suddenly panics and screams at Rachel. Rachel is unsure about what Sarah is doing.
Sarah: Don't fight, please! (Begs)
Ronald: It's okay, I can beat her any time.
Rachel: No you can't. I'll give you defeat.
Sarah: Please don't! Rachel don't kill him!
Rachel: (sounds uneasy) Kill? What do you mean?
Sarah: Claps hands over mouth Oh, erm nothing.
Rachel: No, something fishy is going on.
Ronald: Yer! Tell me too.
Jack comes in the scene and sits next to Sarah, he still has the heavy bag slung over his shoulder, he rubs it and moves his shoulder blade about
Jack: Tell him what?
Sarah: Oh nothing.
Ronald: Rachel says something, well, fishy is going on. Cos Sarah said kill?!
Sarah: No I never.
Rachel: Why would I kill? What gave you that idea?!
Jack: Oh, nothing. (whispers to Sarah) Shit, we have to tell her what we think.
Sarah: (Whispers back) No, we can't!
Jack: We must.
Rachel: Must what? Tell me!
Sarah: Okay. Jack will.
Jack: What?! Fine. We went into the spooky house, saw a ghost, ghost said Rachel killed her
Rachel: Killed?! Why?!
Sarah: So it isn't true?
Rachel: (acts amazed) Me?! Ha!
Ronald: I bet you did...
Rachel gets up, her fingers grip into her sweaty palms, she grits her teeth, then stares her friends
Rachel: I have to go...
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Scene Five
[i]Rachel is on her own, inside the house. She wanders around the room with the open shutters, her body is shaking and she is breathing loudly. A noise comes from that same rocking chair, it squeaks loudly, it creakes up and down. Rachel turns to the noise's souce and finds the ghost girl, sitting there. Her head down, staring at the floor.
Ghost: Why are you here?
Rachel: To find why you're here.
Ghost: A waste of time dear.
Rachel: Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about!
Ghost: You know what's going to happen next. Don't you?
Rachel: No-o-o. I don't want to know.
Ghost: I will tell you.
The ghost girl looks up, showing her ghaslty face then looks over to the cracked window. A knife is laying there, untouched.
Rachel: You're not thinking of killing me?
Ghost: So it's alright for you to do it to me?
Rachel: What?
Ghost: I know who you are....
Rachel: No... I don't understand!
The knife suddenly lifts and slices into Rachel's neck. She falls down onto the floor, gasping
Ghost: Lannah, you're going to die.
Rachel: Lannah?! I'm...... (cough) Rac- (splutter) -hel.
Ghost: No..... You aren't!
Rachel: (gasps for air) I am.... Rachel falls on the ground. Dead.
Ghost: Oh no!...
To be continued?..... |
Last edited by Emma on Wed Feb 09, 2005 7:42 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Elizabeth
1 Piece To The Original YWS Couple
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Sam
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| Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 11:09 pm Post subject: RE |
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ha ha...
I thought it was pretty interesting. It was pretty intense, though, so if you ever have real people acting this out tell them to really do it with feeling. They're talking to dead people, for god's sake....
btw, i'm a she |
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Emma
the wee dafty
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| Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 7:50 am Post subject: |
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Heehee,
Sorry Sam, I'm soo stupid. Slap me! |
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Elder Bobo
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| Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow, that's pretty creepy! What a cliffhanger! Cool job. |
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anna Gibson
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| Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:51 pm Post subject: brill |
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| That was real scary u need 2 finish it now |
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Emma
the wee dafty
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| Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 11:12 am Post subject: |
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Thanx!
Im sooo proud of that lol! Which Im normally never proud of anything! |
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Tara
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Emma, are you going to finish his or leave us hangin? Come on, more! pleaaaase? |
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Emma
the wee dafty
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:38 am Post subject: |
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I will! Give me time! Should I post the next part here? Or as a new topic?  |
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Firestarter
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Either is fine. |
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Emma
the wee dafty
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Country: Scotland
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| Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:18 am Post subject: |
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| Well I did do the next part though 'someone' deleted it. Sorry, but I will have it up one day. |
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Rei
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| Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Not bad. The dialogue could be a little better to sound a little more natural (But I'm waay to picky about that, so don't take that too seriously) The overall story is okay, but I would have liked to see the characters' relationships a bit more without those introductions. Remember, if this were a play, you would not have them. |
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Lollipop
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| Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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AHHHH! Emma! You're scaring me! *cries* How could you? This is soooo cool though!
~Lollipop~ |
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zelithon
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| Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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"Sarah: I'm not too sure on this. I wan't to go home. "
It should be want.
I want to read the rest! Totally leaves us hanging. |
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:33 am Post subject: |
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| I liked it, but I was kind of confused during the first few dialogues. I wasn't sure why the house would make them fight? But overall I thought it was a good story and I would love to see a sequel. |
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