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Leoni
Leoni

by Leoni in Fantasy Fiction
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This thread was created on February 16, 2007
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Sweeter with Time
Sweeter With Time: Chapter 1(updated)

Sweeter With Time ~ Chapter 1

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gymnast_789   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:55 pm    Post subject: Sweeter With Time ~ Chapter 1 Reply with quote

This is only the beginning of the second chapter. I'll be adding more later.

December 2004

I took a deep breath as I stepped into my ready stance in front of the bars. I looked up and saw two monsters dressed in blue ensemble, the judges. Behind them, hundreds of people staring back at me, shifting anxiously in the hard wooden bleachers. I watched as the judges scribbled markings, I could see what they were, on their pads of paper. I nervously started to fidget with my grips, waiting for the judges.

I noticed one of the judges pass the piece of paper she had finished writing on and looked up to face me. She raised her right arm, giving me the okay to go. I presented back, as was costume before gymnasts start any routine and turned to face still feeling her gaze on me. I tool another deep breath and took a step forward to prepare for my mount.

Kip, cast, back hip circle, followed by a drop kip was the beginning of my routine, and I flowed through all of them perfectly. Bars was my best event so I didn’t really have anything to worry about. I cast again but this time I put my feet on the low bar and stood up to face the high bar. This was the part of my routine that I was most worried about. I had never competed giants on high bar before in a completion. “Come on Amanda!” I herd one of my teammates yell from behind me. I jumped and grabbed the high bar, doing another kip, cast, and fell back down and around the bar to begin my giants.

Fall, tap, scoop. I said to myself after I was in my handstand on the top of the bar. These were all of the things that were necessary for the giant to be completed. I started to fall to begin my first giant. I made it around, and took my original position on the top of the bar. I heard a scream from my teammates, excited that I had done at least one giant. I had only one more giant to go before my dismount, when my routine ended, alone with my nervousness.

I repeated the words in my head as I fell to start my second giant. This time though I repositioned my hand position as I was falling. I felt a rush of adrenaline go through my body as I tried to fix my fault. I passed under the bar and felt as my grip slipped off of the bar. The next thing I new I was flying through the air and all I could see was the ceiling. I heard the crowd gasp, and my coach who was standing next to the bars step onto the mat, in an attempt to catch me. I knew that there was nothing that I could do at this point but wait for me to hit the cold, hard ground, and hope not to be injured.

I wrenched open my eyes, and stared at the blue carpeted floor. I had my head in my arms and I was lying on the gymnastics floor in our gym. I sat up quickly and looked around. I found all of my teammates lined up next to me still in the position that I was just in.

“Amanda are you done visualizing?” said a stern voice behind me which made me jump. I turned around to find my couch Buzz walking past the beams toward me. I nodded. “All of your routines?” I nodded again. “Perfect?”

“Yes all of them!” I said annoyed that he wouldn’t believe me. Visualizing was a big thing in the gymnastics world, especially to Buzz. Proven studies had found that visualizing while you were injured, helped gymnast’s routines, and helped them get better all-around scores. Buzz had told us many storing about when he was in gymnastics, and injured how he would watch videos of gymnasts and would come back from the injury and be able to through tricks he never was able to before. But Buzz made us visualize in we were injured or not.

“Well,” he said to me scratching his bald head. “You have a practice meet this weekend. I guess you can go home now.” I stood up and walked across the floor, pass the bar to the lockers. I opened my locker and took out my practice bag, sweatpants, and baggy sweatshirt. Before I slipped on my pants I examined the red square welts on my legs. They were from earlier in practice and my other coach, Becky’s plan to fix bent legs. She would take a paint stirring stick and smack us as hard as she cold on the legs if the were bend while we were tumbling. I was so used to this I would even sometimes smack my self in the leg every time before my tumbling pass in practice, so that I wouldn’t bend them.

I looked up and noticed that some of my teammates were also finished visualizing and making their way toward the lockers. I hurried to get dressed so that I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. I was still really upset that I wasn’t moved up to level 7 and I didn’t want that subject to be brought up.

“Are you coming to the meet tomorrow?” my teammate Sierra asked me as she retrieved her things from her locker.

“Do I have a choice?” I replied sitting on the bench and putting on my shoes.

Sierra seemed to be confused by my answer and stammered to find an answer. “Well…I…just…um…”

“Sierra,” I said interrupting her. “Yes I’m coming. Why wouldn’t I?” She shrugged a little as I stood up and threw my gym bag over my shoulder. “See ya!” I waved to her over my shoulder and headed toward the lobby door.

I pushed open the door and stepped into the lobby which was buzzing with the parents of the children from the younger classes. I was checking my box for mail when Becky came out of the back office. “Well, Amanda. Are you going to keep your leg straight now?”

“Yeah.” I said with a little smile. Ever since Becky had denied me the change of going to level 7 I hadn’t really wanted to be around her let alone talk to her. And now with the birth of her baby she was threatening to quit coaching. Becky had coached me for as long as I could remember, and it angered me how she was just going to get up and leave.

I grabbed my mail out of my box and headed out the front door. “See you tomorrow Becky.” I said turning before I went out the door.

“Bye Amanda.” Becky said as she was shuffling through things behind the desk. I turned back around and made my way out the door.


_________________
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''” ~Muhammad Ali


Last edited by gymnast_789 on Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:17 pm; edited 3 times in total
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ELven-Maiden   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 2:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FIrst of all, I know next to nothing about gymnastics. when you talk about kips and casts, I'm lost. of course, the real important thing is the giants that you fear so much in the story. I can't rationalize your nervousness if I don't know the dangers of the giant. If you breifly describe it, making it sound horrible and scary, your less educated readers like me will be nervous along with you.

But that's all I can say. You did a pretty good job on this overall. Of course, there are some grammar issues, but my grammar isn't any better, so I can't talk. :s

Good job, though!

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"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."~Carl Jung, psychologist and psychiatrist.
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, although I usually don't like this type of thing, this was pretty good. By the way, is this continued or is this the only one?
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is the first one...I'll post chapter 1 soon...it doesn't really have anything to do with this chapter.

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“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''” ~Muhammad Ali
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Continuing from Part 1 ^_^


The freshly fallen snow crunched under my feet as I jumped out of my mothers car. The winter morning air was cold and fog covered. I loved the first snow of the winter, which was a sure sign that competiton season was about to begin.

Knowing that I would be late in I didn't hurry, I forced myself to go inside the gym. A warm air covered my face as I pulled open open the glass door. I made my way through all of the parents of my teammates and into the gym.

All of my level six teammates were already there talking and giggling by the lockers. They were sitting in their warm up on and ready to go. I went walked over to where they were and set my grip bag and shoes in my locker. "Ready, Amanda," Sierra asked my who was sitting on the bench next to my locker.

"I'm ready for the season to be over," I replied setting myself down next to her. " I'm ready to compete Level seven."

"All in good time Amanda," my other teammate, April said getting up from where she was sitting. I gave her a little smile, and watched her as she made her way to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Lately I had been getting the feeling that people had been getting annoyed with me complaining about not moving up. I knew that April understood what I was going through. She had always been the one who I could connect with. She had also been wanting to move up, but unlike me hadn't been told by Becky that she could if she wanted to. April and me had always been really close, but I felt that we had never had a relationship bigger then teammates.

"Okay, girls. Lets warm up!" Becky yelled across the gym at us as she came out of the lobby. "Five laps around the floor each way!" We all got up and April came out of the bathroom, and followed us onto the floor.
We jogged around the and stretched. Becky separated the Level Fives and Sixes, sending the littler ones to beam, and us to floor. I noticed that the parents were now filing up stair onto the balcony. "Oh, no! Karen's judging floor!" April said as we waited in line to warm up out tumbling passes. I looked over and saw her in her blue blazer getting her judging materials organized on a colorful P-bar box that was to be her table. "I wouldn't mind her judging anything else, but floor is my worst event!" April said as another one of my teammates in front of me started her tumbling pass.Karen was one of the hardest judges in the state of Montana. If you even thought about making a mistake she would nail you for it.

"I didn't recognize any of the other judges as I looked around. I supposed that they had been last minute resort enable to find judges. "It's your turn, Amanda,"April said tapping me on the shoulder. I snapped back from my daze and noticed everyone waiting for me. I stood in the corner and prepared for my tumbling pass, then ran to start my fist tumbling pass.

*****
After the meet was over I sat on the floor with the rest of my teammates. I laid on the floor with my hands underneath my head thinking and listening to my teammates laughing. I had done okay in the meet, even thought I knew I could have been better. I wasn't in the best of moods today though. I sat up and looked at all of my teammates. "The awards are going to take forever." Every body agreed with me, and all decided to have a handstand contest.

Buzz had said that I had one of the best handstands, or at least better then anyone in the gym, and won most of the contests. After we were board with that then we moved on to headstands, which I wasn't as good at. Finally Becky came out the the lobby with metals in had. I waited patiently as she went thought the Level Five awards. It was now turn for the Level Sixes. Maegen, my twin sister, received 6th place, I received 3rd, followed by Sierra who got 2ND, and April who took first.

After the award Becky made all of us help clean up the things from the meet. After we were all done with that all of the Level Fives filed out and left with their parents. A few of the Level Sixes went with them, but me, Maegen, Sierra, April, and another one our teammates Sierra Corkin, all stayed and tumbled a little more, while Becky talked quietly to our parent at the door of the gym. "What do you think their talking about?" I asked. I thought I knew though. Becky had been having trouble, having a new baby and all. I had heard that her husband had gotten fired from his job, and the was Becky was in a squeeze for money. She was now working two jobs with now sympathy from her husband.

"May be we could do a fundraiser to help her," I had suggested. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but after a while realized that there was nothing we could do, but watched and hoped that this time would pass with little trouble involved.

"I know," April said all of the sudden." I heard that she was quitting." This new hit me really hard. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes but didn't want to cry in front of my teammates, so I held them back. I looked around at all the rest of the girls who had all gone silent. Becky leaving the gym was something that we all didn't want to happen. I had always thought that the gym would fall apart without Becky there. Ever since Buzz and Debby had gotten a divorce hadn't hadn't pr oven to be the best coach. From leaving his optional girls at a gymnastics meet, so that he could go and pick up his girlfriend, to just getting up and leaving them during practice. I had never thought that Buzz would be a good person to be our coach, and never be there for us, and it wasn't until years later that it turned out that I was right.

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“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''” ~Muhammad Ali
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This part was pretty good too, although, I think that you should get rid of some of the "had"s they sort of take away from the overall flow of your story. Other than that, write on; it looks like this is going to get good.
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 2:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks order! I'll make some changes that you suggested!

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“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''” ~Muhammad Ali
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A few typos, missing words and letters, but I'm not that good at them either, so I can't talk. Razz

I thought this was really good! There were some awkward phrases here and there, but if you read through it yourself once, you'll catch them.

kkep writing, and tell me when the next part comes up!

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GO HORACE!
I have some IA on Venus, but I don't know how long it'll last. my com's getting crushed.
"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."~Carl Jung, psychologist and psychiatrist.
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