Young Writers Society

We wrote pantoums (it's pronounced pan-TOOM and is a very funny word) in my creative writing class. I've only seen the style a few times before, and it was really interesting to try it out, but I feel that my pantoum just doesn't do much.    Here's what Wikipedia has to say about the style: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantoum. There are different ways to write them, and mine differs a little bit from the format described by Wikipedia, but you get the picture.

So, here are two that I wrote for the class. The first, obviously, does not rhyme, and the second obviously does. The second is more for novelty than for anything else (and I realize that I need a lesson in rhythm XD); I'm being graded on the first.





The Pantoum of Doom (no, I don't have a real title >.<)



Seventh period we write “pantoums”.

It’s Creative Writing.

The air breathes heavy outside;

March is full-force against the windows.



Creative writing:

poetry on snow days goes nowhere when

March is full-force against the windows.

My feet rarely touch the ground.



Poetry on snow days goes nowhere when

an aging season lives too long.

My feet stay bare inside;

my fingers are heavy with want.



An aging season has lived too long;

it reminds us in wind-slapped faces.

My fingers are heavy with want

and my skin, untouched by sun, is soft.



It reminds us in wind-slapped faces, but

inside we type repeated lines.

My skin, untouched by sun, is soft, and

the air outside is heavy.





The Milky Way

after Train’s “Drops of Jupiter”



Tell me, did you sail across the sun?

Was the solar system dark and bare?

And now that it's done,

did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?



Was the emptiness dark and bare?

I stayed here under the atmosphere.

Did you miss me, looking for yourself out there?

I missed you under the clouds back here.



I stayed on the other side of the atmosphere;

familiar, but frustrating.

I missed you under the clouds back here;

The people can be suffocating.



It’s safe, but frustrating.

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?

The people here can be suffocating.

And now it’s done, but you’re still so far.