Topic ID: 10946
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Samuel Garrison
To arms! Tis thy Rebel Army!
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 27
Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 1515
Reviews: 288
Country: Native Vermonter.
233 Points
|
 Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 4:47 pm Post subject: Full Bloods |
 |
|
Full Bloods
Inside Room 230, beast and human watched each other carefully.
The creature had barely dragged the boy, like a slab of meat, into its lair twenty minutes ago but it sat on its haunches and stared straight ahead where the lad had slumped down onto the floor.
The boy had raised his knees and clenched the front of his shins. Rolling his body almost into a tight ball, he tucked his head below his stomach. Perhaps he thought of the old motto: What I can't see, it won't notice me.
A brown, shaggy-like leg rose, and the creature scratched behind an ear with its foot. When the itching had ceased, it stood on all four legs, and stretched. A low growl escaped the animal's lips, and the boy lifted his head slightly, just enough so he could catch a glimpse. The creature was lying on its belly, flexing its claws and staring intently at him. He shivered, and retracted by dipping his head again under his arms.
"Why are you here?" the creature demanded gruffly.
The boy instantly shot his head up and gaped. It spoke! His mouth began to move but no sounds came out.
The creature yawned casually, and when the boy witnessed rows upon rows of jagged and yellowish teeth, he shivered.
It yawned once more, and then he watched with astonished eyes as the animal stood on two legs. The creature shook its head and the coarse fur around its neck danced with the movement of its body. It stepped slowly forward, and the boy reacted by whimpering but he could not look away as the animal approached. The awful tap and grinding sound as the creature's claws scraped against the wood echoed in the boy's ear. He wanted to turn his head but the spectacle was too much, too intriguing for his young eyes to look afar.
When the creature hovered over its intruder, the boy winced and produced a weak smile, in an attempt to show he meant no harm by knocking on the door and disturbing it.
The creature only nodded, and let its long, pink tongue slink outwards, panting in the manner a dog would. Within a few seconds, the creature's tongue retracted inside, and it flopped onto its stomach again.
It glared and the boy reacted by gazing into two, green eyes.
"Why have you come?" it repeated in a softer tone.
The creature's voice coaxed the boy to curiously inch forward a bit. After all, a dog is supposed to be friendly, trusting and kind.
But it released a low growl instead, and the boy whimpered again when he heard the warning.
"I, - What are, are you?" he managed to ask.
"Guess," the animal hissed.
The boy shivered nervously and asked, "A dog?"
"Nay, human. I'm a full blooded werewolf," it replied boldly. "Half Breeds are affected by the cycle of the moon; we Full Bloods are not."
And with that, the werewolf crawled forward...
*****
This is my next project. I'll be dabbling in fantasy for the first time.  Cheers! |
_________________
PM me if you have added me to a messeging service, otherwise the invitation'll be blocked.
230th F&I Commemeration; Fort Ti, 2007
Last edited by Samuel Garrison on Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:31 pm; edited 7 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Sureal
(i are RITER!!!)
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 19
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
Posts: 3053
Reviews: 448
Country: England
433 Points
|
| Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 5:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
The concept of full blooded and half blooded werewolves sounds cool. Don't think I've ever heard anything like that before.
Good luck with the contest  . |
_________________
The Broken.
-- Chapter One
-- Chapter Two |
|
| Back to top |
|
Samuel Garrison
To arms! Tis thy Rebel Army!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 27
Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 1515
Reviews: 288
Country: Native Vermonter.
233 Points
|
| Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 12:01 am Post subject: |
|
|
Heh, I'm fairly certain my take on the who werewolf senario will be original because of the two factions I've created.
I figured this contest was the perfect oppertunity to practice.
Thank you! |
_________________
PM me if you have added me to a messeging service, otherwise the invitation'll be blocked.
230th F&I Commemeration; Fort Ti, 2007 |
|
| Back to top |
|
Myth
.: #_O :.
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 74
Joined: 23 Dec 2005
Posts: 3115
Reviews: 820
Country: Down a rabbit hole?
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 1:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Interesting, all sorts of curious questions are brewing on my mind right now. Sorry I haven't done a more eagle-eyed critique but I can't wait to see how you tackle fantasy.  |
_________________
.: ₪ :.
'...' |
|
| Back to top |
|
Roaming Shadow
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Posts: 362
Reviews: 50
Country: Wherever my stories take place.
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
With this little peice you've got here, I'm interested as well. Seeing my avatar, you shouldn't be all that surprsed. I want to see where you go with this idea. Expect a critique from me when you get the full thing done. Or at least the full beginning.
If you'd like me to critique this peice before the contest ends, just PM me and I'll try to make time for it. I'm a little behind on college work and stuff so I haven't been critiqueing much lately. Good luck with the contest fellow competitor! |
_________________
"In a fair fight I would have killed you."
"Well that's not much insentive for me to fight fair now is it?" (PotC: TCftBP)
I'm probably dead already, but that doesn't mean I can't take a few scumbags with me. ~Jak |
|
| Back to top |
|
Samuel Garrison
To arms! Tis thy Rebel Army!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 27
Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 1515
Reviews: 288
Country: Native Vermonter.
233 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 1:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
Thank you all for your comments, and best of luck with the contest everyone! I know I'm enjoying myself by reading all your stories.
Roaming Shadow - Many thanks for the offer! I appreciate it but, I think I'm going to wing it and see what happens. Shocker, no? Fishr is actually dismissing a crit? Is she INSANE? Possibly, but I just entered for the fun of it. Again, thank you for the offering to help.
EDIT: I guess I should mention I'm not sure when I'll start on this project but I would imagine it would be far in the distant future. I guess though, for now, the title will remain, "Full Bloods." So, if you see that title in the lit. forums, you'll know what it's all about! |
_________________
PM me if you have added me to a messeging service, otherwise the invitation'll be blocked.
230th F&I Commemeration; Fort Ti, 2007 |
|
| Back to top |
|
Snoink
*glub*
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 8303
Reviews: 2089
Country: USA
2965 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:25 am Post subject: |
|
|
Let me just congratulate you for keeping it within 500 words. I never thought it possible with you. XD
| Quote: |
| The creatures only nodded, and let it's long, pink tongue slink outwards |
its |
_________________
Leopluridon '08: He Will Show Us The Way! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Samuel Garrison
To arms! Tis thy Rebel Army!
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 27
Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 1515
Reviews: 288
Country: Native Vermonter.
233 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Fixed. 
Thanks! I know, haha! It was a real challenge, let me tell you! |
_________________
PM me if you have added me to a messeging service, otherwise the invitation'll be blocked.
230th F&I Commemeration; Fort Ti, 2007 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
