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Never Alone in Heaven
Never Alone in Heaven

by Explosive_Pen in Lyric Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on January 30, 2006
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grey island

Topic ID: 7090
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:00 pm    Post subject: grey island Reply with quote

The patting of the rain and the howling of the wind made it hard to make out the strange noises , a distant "help"possibly of prehaps another trap set by the clowns .

Six years i had been stranded on this island , all alone . At first i thought i was the only one , but then the whispering came ,along with the traps to kill me . I had called them clowns to make them less scary but i think its done the opposite, for i am now terrefied by the word .

This isnt your average island with the swaying coconut trees and the constant glare of the sun over the blue waters , no if that was the case i would go out of the cave that is now my home more often. This island was dence woodland with grey clouds allways hanging over it , the creatures were few and i mainly lived on fruits and if im lucky a squrral .

next part coming soon

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the plot idea. If you are trying to decide which of your stories to continue this would be the one in my opinion. It is more original than your other stories.

There are a few minor grammar mistakes and a few misspelled words. Remember the grammatical rule if an "I" is by itself you always capitalize it. That makes your work look much better.

You should also run your stories through the spell checking program. All you have to do is click the spell check button next to the submit button.

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This thread was created on January 30, 2006

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