After serving ten years as "the guys who puts toothpaste on the Queen of England's toothbrush", I quit my job to live on a farm where I spent the summer as Gas chamber consultant for Hitler. Later in 63' whilst trying to get a autograph from President JFK I accidentally shot him (poor Lee Harvey).
I decided to get away from the chaos by joining politics, there I was the Chief Adviser to Bill Clinton on his debate:
'Fat girls or Thin girls', it was there I met the love of my life
Chelsea Clinton, we dated for about 12 hours and then decided to get married at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
It was a lavish wedding held at McDonald's, all the celebrities were there including Tom and Katie(Bastard Tom couldn't stop from jumping on the chairs), Jim, Mariah and Drew Carey, Satan.
Soft Ballad band Cradle of Filth played beautiful love songs at our wedding.
There were trying times, like when I took her on a romantic trip to Iraq and we were attack by the flying Monkeys from Space or when we accidentally flew our plane into the World Trade Center (Note to self:- planes don't have anchors) but i still don't know why that other plane crashed...'
But through it all, I have survived by changing my name to Jolie-Pitt.
Now me and Chelsea are living in Disneyland with our kids; Maddox, Pax Thien, Zahara and Shiloh Nouvel.
And we are proud to introduce our recent addition to our family, we welcome our adopted daughter Lindsay Lohan.
Good news!! Lindsay is writing her own self-help book entitled "Where the Booze at?"
O they grow up so quickly!
Read more intelligent writings such as this:
http://www.freewebs.com/childishknack
